[identity profile] unreal.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] omonatheydid
If you are thirty-plus and a woman with a master's degree in South Korea, you may need the help of a matchmaker to find love - and your worried mother may even end up doing the legwork for you.

As women in the Asian country have become better educated, with five times as many now getting advanced degrees as in 1995, they have also become more choosy and are less likely to settle for the role of meek spouse traditionally expected of South Korean women.

"I heard if you are a female with master's degree, it is much harder to arrange a meeting than if you have a bachelors degree because of an unfavorable perception toward 'too smart women' here," said Lee, 24, a college senior in Seoul who wished to be known only by her last name.

The age at which South Korean women are getting hitched has risen by an average 4.1 years over the past 20 years to 28.9 years, according to Statistics Korea, and that has encouraged plenty of worried mothers to get things rolling for their daughters.


"My daughter is in her early 30s, an age considered late for marriage here," said a woman in her mid 50s surnamed Ahn who took her daughter to one of the many match-making agencies in Seoul.

"I was worried that if she does not find her match this year, it will be much more difficult to marry in the coming years, so I went to the firm with her and made her join."

At DUO, a matchmaking firm, its 26,000 members can choose between five different membership programs with fees from 1.08 million won ($971) to 8.8 million won.

In a bid to attract clients, the site displays the average annual income of its male and female customers, as well as statistics on their professional standing.

"In a privately set up blind date, you cannot be entirely sure of how much of personal information given to you is accurate," said DUO spokesman Yon Jun.

Critics say the industry prioritizes income, status and materialism. Local wags have coined the phrase "employage" to sum up employment and marriage.

"If your father works in the financial industry or is a high-ranking administrator, you will find your match with similar backgrounds through a matchmaking firm, starting a perfect marriage on the back of parental support," said comedian Choi Hyo-jong, a presenter on a local satirical show called the Wart's Kindergarten.

Demand appears to only be rising.

Overall, the industry is estimated to be worth 100 billion won, according to the local newspaper Asia Business Daily. That compares to estimates of around 50 billion won in 2005, media said.

Experts said anxiety in tough economic times appeared to be playing a part.

"With increasing uncertainty and anxiety about the future weighing on people, the concept of marriage has become a tool to maintain one's social status," said anthropology professor Kim Hyun-mee at Yonsei University in Seoul.

Source: chinadaily

Date: 2012-03-17 11:21 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-03-17 11:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] in-noctem.livejournal.com
"I heard if you are a female with master's degree, it is much harder to arrange a meeting than if you have a bachelors degree because of an unfavorable perception toward 'too smart women' here,"

It's sad that this is a reality.

Date: 2012-03-17 02:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lobotronic.livejournal.com
isn't it? reminds me of this one, about China: http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2005-03/04/content_421834.htm

I feel very fortunate to live in Canada.....getting a Master's or PhD is a huge boost in your social standing and makes you a very good partner choice. :( A lot of men (and women ;D) with those degrees will ONLY marry a girl who also has them, so the pool of applicants is still fairly wide. Although, the numbers are shifting....a lot of universities are seeing more women enrolling than men.

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Date: 2012-03-17 11:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] black-silver.livejournal.com
mmm smells like profitsssss

Date: 2012-03-17 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nissy-angel.livejournal.com
My mum thought of setting me up with a guy who is currently a 1st year in Uni studying chemical engineering. I of course talked her out of it.
Edited Date: 2012-03-17 12:04 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-03-17 06:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] falling-empress.livejournal.com
My parents think I'd be happier with some douchebag with a really good degree, too. Sorry parents idgaf if he's boring and ugly.

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Date: 2012-03-17 12:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zoetheslacker.livejournal.com
Hasn't this long been an issue for a lot of women in Asian countries? When you're self-sufficient financially and socially and to a certain extend, the acceptance of sexual freedom, finding a spouse becomes somehow.....secondary.

I still get a lot of looks/awkward reaction when people find out I'm still single *shrugs*

Date: 2012-03-17 12:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asth77.livejournal.com
Critics say the industry prioritizes income, status and materialism.

IA w/ the critics

Date: 2012-03-17 12:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] izon-no-niwa.livejournal.com
the role of meek spouse traditionally expected of South Korean women

we might have to check how husbands do perceive their wives. i think the wives are breaking out of this shell and somehow the husbands aren't ready yet.

Date: 2012-03-17 12:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] izabera.livejournal.com
As long as they're single and happy I don't see a problem?
Of course if they're unhappy to be single then it's another matter.

I hate this one size fits all approach to life, clearly some people are better off married and others better off single.

Date: 2012-03-17 01:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] msdaccxx.livejournal.com
Yeah, i read an article with a very different take on this recently where 30-something educated professional women in Seoul were all "lol no, why would I want to marry some old-fashioned loser who wants someone to cook his dinner for him when I could spend all my money on myself? I only go on occasional dates to get my mother off my back"

It looks more like it's driven by their parents and their desire for grandchildren. In the same article, there were some married couples who had decided not to have children - again, so they could enjoy their jobs and spend their money on travel and living comfortably, rather than the wife having to stay home and all their spare money going on tuition for the kids - and their parents were going crazy.

It's why you get guys from rural areas in SK turning to marriage brokers who bring women in from overseas because they can't find a SK woman who is prepared to live on a farm.

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Date: 2012-03-17 01:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] benihime99.livejournal.com
So master degree=smart... I have a few example going against that.
Men feeling overpowered by women, what's new?

"If your father works in the financial industry or is a high-ranking administrator, you will find your match with similar backgrounds through a matchmaking firm, starting a perfect marriage
Because a perfect marriage is all about background and money...

This is ridiculous.

Date: 2012-03-17 03:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] modernabsurdity.livejournal.com
I think (some) men are intimidated by woman who has more than 2 brain cells to rub together.

This article isn't about Korea, but it shows the trend of "older" and single is becoming more common in Asia:
Single in Taiwan (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304198004575171161126405820.html)

Edit - Found more!
Asia's lonely hearts (http://www.economist.com/node/21526350)
The flight from marriage (http://www.economist.com/node/21526329)
Edited Date: 2012-03-17 03:29 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-03-17 05:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] izabera.livejournal.com
These articles are really interesting, I didn't know for instance that more women than men have college degrees.

This caught my attention:
"In her 20s, Ms. Jiang had a steady Taiwanese boyfriend, but was put off marriage by the prospect of moving in with his family and becoming "one more chopstick" at the table. After seven years she broke it off"
The prospect of moving with the in-laws or looking after them when they're old would fill me with dread too.

Date: 2012-03-17 06:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sisterjune.livejournal.com
thanks for those articles. they are really fascinating. I also in these women's position would not want to marry. in fact I'm not sure I want to marry even though I live in the US. Because I'm arab and arabs have alot of the same hang ups as asian men and moms. and even though they grow up in the US, there's alot of the same issues within the community and I am just thinking no I am a slob I am a feminist and I am eccentric and I dont want any damn children. I refuse to change ANY of that ever. I am about 99.9% positive I'll never find an arab guy to accept me (+ their mothers, arab mothers can be terrifying) and I frankly dont care. I dont know if I'd marry someone of a different ethnicity tho I am not averse to the idea and I definitely wouldnt marry outside of my faith. so Its like not alot of options really.

Date: 2012-03-17 03:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brianathebard.livejournal.com
unrelated but millionaire matchmaker on e! is my favorite show on television with real life people.

Date: 2012-03-17 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clayray3290.livejournal.com
Yeah, I was basically told when I got into Harvard, "It's going to be hard for you to find a husband."

It sucks that there's this perception that a woman can be 'too smart.' Really, it's a reflection of the interplay of power that's desired, isn't it? That is, (to generalize) certain men don't want to be with women who are stronger than them.

Gah, looks like I'm going to be forever alone, eh?

Date: 2012-03-17 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sisterjune.livejournal.com
IMO I'd rather be with a guy that can respect and admire my intelligence and If I cant find that I'll gladly stay alone. I mean harvard is really amazing! Maybe you'll have a life like those noona romance dramas, and some pretty young thing will fall in love with you and live in your fancy apartment and brighten up your life with their cuteness :D or that could just be MY fantasy lol.

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Date: 2012-03-17 05:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laceandskin.livejournal.com
I don't know what's more sad, the idea that the more uneducated you are, the higher your chances of finding a husband or that marriage has become a business.

Date: 2012-03-17 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sisterjune.livejournal.com
I'd say both are pretty terrible. I think eventually when men realize they cant have it both ways anymore, they'll start changing their attitudes about women and things will get better but it may still be some time before that ever happens.

Date: 2012-03-17 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] falling-empress.livejournal.com
oh look yet another country that frowns upon women striving to be more than cumdumpsters

big surprise.

Date: 2012-03-17 06:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mizukigirl.livejournal.com
This is so sad. My mom told me and my younger sister don't have to have children if we don't want to.
Edited Date: 2012-03-17 06:48 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-03-17 10:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angelynn-virus.livejournal.com
Just the story my grandma told me evertime, oh de javu...So sad, really~
I just hope that all men out there would realize one day that time has change and be "man" and fair enough to accept the fact that some ambious women out there have "the pants" on and will love us for that.
Edited Date: 2012-03-17 10:54 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-03-18 09:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phililen3.livejournal.com
I heard if you are a female with master's degree, it is much harder to arrange a meeting than if you have a bachelors degree because of an unfavorable perception toward 'too smart women' here
Women are not here to make men feel better about themselves and whatever inadequacies that they percieve themselves to have. If a guy does not like me because I am to well educated, well I have news for them:

Image (http://s1202.photobucket.com/albums/bb363/phililen3/other%20gifs/?action=view&current=kamver21.gif)

You can keep yourself.

Critics say the industry prioritizes income, status and materialism

It helps to feed that idea that money and status are all that matter to have a happy marriage. This reminds me of My Name is Kim SamSoon... I guess there is no such thisng as Prince Charming, only Prince Money and Status....

Image (http://s1202.photobucket.com/albums/bb363/phililen3/other%20gifs/Modern%20Family/?action=view&current=ji2eyh.gif)

Date: 2012-03-18 12:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] earenya-beryl.livejournal.com
"I heard if you are a female with master's degree, it is much harder to arrange a meeting than if you have a bachelors degree because of an unfavorable perception toward 'too smart women' here,"

Shit is true.
I have actually had friends/colleagues say that I have to "Tone it down" if I want to get a guy/husband ...and I was like "What~?". Having a masters degree is not a disease ~T-T

Date: 2012-03-18 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emeraldxdew.livejournal.com
Or they'll say "at least try not to seem too smart".

I'm just like WTF? Should I not say anything and just giggle like an airhead around guys? How's that supposed to attract anyone?! -_-

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Date: 2012-03-19 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miki-831.livejournal.com
How the heck do you get married in Korea? geez

You need to have a good education and job to make a good match in the first place, but then you are expected to quit once you get married.
If you get too much education, then you seem too career driven. What the heck

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