For better or worse: foreign brides in South Korea

[unreal.livejournal.com]

The brutal murders of Vietnamese brides in South Korea highlight integration difficulties.


Kim Choong-Hwan (left), a 40-year-old South Korean truck driver, poses with his Vietnamese wife Ngo Ngoc Quy Hong, 21, by their wedding photo after an interview at their apartment in Osan, south of Seoul, May 3, 2007. A growing army of South Korean bachelors are turning to China, Vietnam, the Philippines, Mongolia, Thailand, Russia, Uzbekistan and other foreign countries for brides.

The murder would have been all the more horrifying had it been unprecedented.

On May 24, a South Korean man stabbed his Vietnamese wife to death while the couple’s 19-day-old baby lay next to her. The man, a farmer, had been matched up with his foreign bride through a broker.


In 2010, another Vietnamese woman was killed by her husband a week after they were married. In 2008, a Vietnamese woman jumped from an apartment building to her death after being abused by her husband and mother-in-law.

These brutal acts highlight the ways — most less obvious and more everyday — in which South Korea is turning a blind eye to its rapidly changing demographics and the obstacles of integration.

For-profit marriage brokers operate without thorough oversight and the state agencies tasked with addressing the problem can't get their act together.

Or maybe they don't want to. South Korea is notoriously reluctant to accept migrants and change its identity as a homogenous culture.

The problem, of course, is that the migrants are already on their way.

South Korea is facing a growing number of foreign brides. On subway cars in South Korea, in between the ads for plastic surgery or English classes, brokerage agencies post wallet-sized cards that promise convenient marriages to kind women from nearby countries.

Nguyen Ngoc Cam arrived in South Korea from Vietnam as a foreign bride 13 years ago.

“It was very difficult at first. When I first arrived, I couldn't speak Korean at all and wasn't familiar with Korean culture,” Nguyen, 35, said in a recent interview in Gwanghwamun Square, the symbolic epicenter of Seoul.

She said the government offered no help. “I was left to rely on myself. The important thing was that I developed confidence over time.”

Ultimately, Nguyen adapted to life in Namyangju, a suburb east of Seoul, and learned to speak to her husband, a construction engineer. The couple has two children, ages 10 and 12.

More than 100,000 of the estimated 1.2 million foreigners residing in South Korea are foreign brides, according to the Korea Institute for Health and Social Affairs.

Vietnamese and Filipino women make up 19.5 and 6.6 percent of that population, respectively, according to a March 2010 survey by the Ministry for Health. Ethnic Koreans from China make up the largest portion at 30.4 percent, with Han Chinese at 27.3 percent.

But besides keeping a tally, government agencies have yet to make a significant impact in smoothing the transition. A lack of coordination among the three ministries — gender, education and health — responsible for assisting multiethnic families means it's hard to get anything done. (Case in point: None of the three ministries returned requests for comment for this story.)

Brokers do little to prepare the brides. Language and cultural issues aside, both men charged with murdering their Vietnamese wives had known histories of mental health issues that weren’t disclosed to their bride in advance.

At a memorial service outside the South Korean Ministry of Gender Equality on June 2, protesters carried placards that read “Brokers: do you see what you have done?”

But it isn't only the wives who suffer. Mixed families struggle economically and multiethnic children don't fare as well academically as fully Korean kids.

Nearly 60 percent of multicultural families on a government survey were living in near poverty, with a household income of less than 2 million won ($1,850) per month. Average household income in South Korea is 3.3 million won ($3,065) per month.

Also according to government stats, 80.8 percent of the children from multiethnic families aged 7 to 12 go to school. But only 26.5 percent make it to high school — far below average in a country that has one of the most educated societies in the world.

Kim Hee-kyung, director of advocacy for Save the Children Korea, argues that it isn’t just newcomers that need help assimiliating, but it is also full Koreans who need to learn how to welcome different cultures.

“We keep urging the government to focus more on the education of fully Korean children," said Kim.

"It is time to educate the majority of children, not just the minority. But the government’s policy focuses only on how to integrate this minority into Korean society; they don’t accept diversity.”

The crux of the problem is that South Korean society resists thinking of itself as anything other than a uniform culture.

“We need to discard the centuries-old concept of Korea as a homogeneous, monocultural sort of society and accept that we are becoming more diverse,” said Lee Chan-boum of the Presidential Council on Nation Branding, a government body that promotes South Korea’s image internationally.

Koreans commonly believe, and are taught in school, that their people have populated the peninsula from time immemorial and have withstood colonial occupation and other forms of outside interference with their uniquely pure culture intact.

Brian Myers, Director of International Studies at Dongseo University in Busan, argues in his work, "The Cleanest Race," that it wasn’t until the arrival of the Japanese in the late 19th century that a uniquely Korean identity began to be formed in both emulation of and opposition to the colonial presence. Contact with Chinese and Japanese invaders created a mixed bloodline.

At present, there are no government programs to educate full South Koreans on accepting different cultures, which Kim of Save the Children says is the logical next step.

“Usually mixed children don’t recognize that they’re different; they are categorized as being different. The government only urges children to learn Korean, not Vietnamese. Through this, the children start to think that Vietnamese is inferior to Korean," Kim said. "They then start to hate everything from Vietnam."

Source: globalpost

Comments

[theycallmeriz.livejournal.com]

Teaching kids to be more accepting of different cultures so that they grow up into more accepting adults is definitely the way forward. It really just makes me sad when people of any race are intolerant of others but the issue does seem to spring up more in countries like S.Korea with a massive sense of national pride. I think kids need to be taught that you can have national pride without being a douchebag considering others to be inferior- just different.

And different is good.

Although I highly doubt anybody starts to hate everything from Vietnam to the extent that they would marry a Vietnamese woman with the sole intention of murdering her a week later. The article states those men had mental health issues anyway which brings up ANOTHER stigma S.Korea and Asian in general needs to sort out.

Whoa... that was almost as tl:dr as the article. Though tbf, I read the entire article.

[theycallmeriz.livejournal.com]

*Asia in general.
too much typing.

[rennehollic.livejournal.com]

+1

[eccentricvibe.livejournal.com]

I agree so much with all of this.

[pancakeonmyhead.livejournal.com]

This so much.

[anewsymphony.livejournal.com]

Although I highly doubt anybody starts to hate everything from Vietnam to the extent that they would marry a Vietnamese woman with the sole intention of murdering her a week later

Umm...that's not what the article said. They were talking about mixed Viet/Korean children.

[theycallmeriz.livejournal.com]

The article is all about intolerance and lack of understanding towards other cultures, including Vietnamese culture, on the behalf of some Koreans.

I was just saying that nobody is THAT stupid.

[kaiweasley.livejournal.com]

♥ this so much

[neumi.livejournal.com]

Geez, what a way to start off an article! Only mentally deranged people buy friends. They can't make any the normal way 'cause they scare them off, I suppose. The whole "enjoy diversity" thing is spot on though. Biased since I'm American, but I shudder at the thought of living anywhere there isn't a wide variety of people. Korea needs to get with it, especially if they're serious about this whole hallyu thing.

[j.r. edwards (from livejournal.com)]

I wouldnt say only deranged people buy friends. When youre in business its easy to blur the lines, making offers and negotiations into relationships as well. Also could be shy...not saying I agree but I certainly can try to see all angles.

Oh, and its better to be sold into marriage than sex trafficking.

[firebomber.livejournal.com]

"Oh, and its better to be sold into marriage than sex trafficking."

Huh?

[kittycurious.livejournal.com]

Isn't being sold into marriage a part of the sex trafficking trade? As you're taking a person and trading them for currency.
If not, they have some similarities. Both involve being sold like an object to the highest bidder, and you can only hope that the person that buys you is kind.
I've heard terrible stories of women who were sold to men for marriage, and how their new husbands treated them like objects because they were bought.

Though I don't see why you're comparing the two, since no one brought up sex trafficking.

[firebomber.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

crazy sad

[j.r. edwards (from livejournal.com)]

I really feel for these brides and the children.

[tiddlywinks103.livejournal.com]

But the government’s policy focuses only on how to integrate this minority into Korean society; they don’t accept diversity.”

Oy. This will be so hard to fix. America can't get that shit right, and we're built on 'diversity'.

[sers-sers.livejournal.com]

The government only urges children to learn Korean, not Vietnamese. Through this, the children start to think that Vietnamese is inferior to Korean," Kim said. "They then start to hate everything from Vietnam."

I don't think this depends on the education solely, but also on the environment of the child's family. So for example if the mixed couple both teach their own cultures for their children then obviously they won't hate the other culture. This was a great read though, and somehow reminded me how similar korea is with japan in terms of it's "monoculture-ism".

[annhh.livejournal.com]

I really think S.K. should do something to prevent discrimination in school. I don't care how, just make it happen (!!)

Most often even Chinese-Korean child gets a hard time. The rest then I don't know how they deal :/ I mean growing up thinking there's something wrong with you, feeling like an outcast, losing confidence this way etc

Kids don't understand hate/treating differently, and some parents don't seem to be much help:
"80.8 percent of the children from multiethnic families aged 7 to 12 go to school. But only 26.5 percent make it to high school"

Like, what is this, can't believe it.

[shampoo.livejournal.com]

and multiethnic children don't fare as well academically as fully Korean kids.

this part was the most unusual to me because everything i've learned in classes taken that have a focus on cross-cultural studies/multi-ethnic studies points to multi-ethnic children doing far better academically than the more "homogenous" children. that being said a lot of those studies are done in already-diverse countries like the US, so it's probably a lot different in south korea.

also i really wish south korea would start seriously reexamining their national opinion regarding mental health and treatment of mental issues. it's disheartening to me that so many people end up committing suicide+other crimes and the news reports all say something to the effect of "oh they had severe mental issues" or "oh they suffered from depression for X amount of years". like, i'm glad SK has moved to a point where they acknowledge that psychiatric and mental illnesses exist -- can they start moving to the point where they TREAT those illnesses?

[jongina.livejournal.com]

IA with this entire comment.

[lcbarnes.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Instead of ads for plastic surgery, they need more info on mental illness treatment and diversity training. There is no homogenous society any more. Time to get with it SK!

[hopeandmemory.livejournal.com]

like, i'm glad SK has moved to a point where they acknowledge that psychiatric and mental illnesses exist -- can they start moving to the point where they TREAT those illnesses?

SERIOUSLY.

also what they said about multiethnic children reminded me a lot of the educational divide in the states. which is just really fucking sad. but i agree with what you said, that the diversity here compared to that of south korea would mess with those results a lot.

[kittycurious.livejournal.com]

The little girl crying ;n;

[hyun-tho.livejournal.com]

As a Vietnamese woman, I feel very offended by the Korean government forcing the mixed children to learn Korean, not Vietnamese.
My sister married a Korean man and their kids speak both Vietnamese & Korean. Nothing's wrong with being bilingual. They should know where they came from and learn have the best of both worlds.

I thought Vietnam was tough, but boy. Those Koreans sure are thick headed.
It's just sad to see foreign brides commit suicide or their husband killing them.
But in the end, the children are suffering. Just think about growing up without a mom due to this. Just heartbreaking. :|

[xblackchristmas.livejournal.com]

its definitely the best of both worlds but korean's national pride want their children to be full-blooded korean.. ):

[akaich0u.livejournal.com]

IA. Asia in general is already a male-dominated society, but Korea is shockingly and overwhelmingly so. I think Korean women have it pretty bad too.

[anewsymphony.livejournal.com]

I completely agree with your sentiment, but I think you took that sentence about the Korean government urging (not 'forcing', as you put it) the children to learn Korean the wrong way. Obviously if the children are growing up in Korea, it is in the child's best interest to learn Korean if they are going to integrate well and be a productive member of society in the future, right? And of course it's good for them to learn Vietnamese too, but I think if the child is going to be brought up in Korean, the duty to teach the child Vietnamese is solely that of the parent's. The Korean government doesn't really have any duty to promote bilingualism on an individual basis like that. Of course the Korean government doesn't think that there's anything wrong with being bilingual. I think this article is worded pretty badly and as a result, people are jumping to conclusions about what it is insinuating.

[valieleen.livejournal.com]

IA

[heartshaker.livejournal.com]

“Usually mixed children don’t recognize that they’re different; they are categorized as being different. The government only urges children to learn Korean, not Vietnamese. Through this, the children start to think that Vietnamese is inferior to Korean," Kim said. "They then start to hate everything from Vietnam."

this makes me feel so saddened.
hating something that you are and will never be able to not be...

/sigh

[walkin-siesta.livejournal.com]

slightly oot but is korea that short on productive-aged women that they have to resort to mail order brides?

[akaich0u.livejournal.com]

The problem is there's a shortage of Korean women wanting to marry Korean men living in rural areas. Such areas are non-progressive in terms of gender equality and as such there's a shortage of Korean women willing to adapt to that lifestyle--aka being submissive housewives. As these women relocate to cities, the uber-traditional Korean men have fewer and fewer options, hence resorting to these kinds of services.

[akaich0u.livejournal.com]

Of course there are quite a few problems that need to be resolved in terms of culture awareness and tolerance, but IMO the main issue is gender equality. Plenty of Korean men with Korean wives have control issues as it is; domestic violence is nowhere near highlighted and prevented as much as it should be. Part of the reason why so many mail-order brides are necessary is because a lot of Korean women don't stand for being treated like property anymore (especially in more traditional rural regions), and sadly the only women who do stand for it are extremely poor foreign women who just want a chance at better living situations. Which don't arise anyway if they're being treated like this.

"Through this, the children start to think that Vietnamese is inferior to Korean," Kim said. "They then start to hate everything from Vietnam."
This is so sad to me because you know what? SK and Vietnam are two sides of the same coin. While South Korea won its war against Communists (or at least was able to politically and geographically secede from them), Vietnam did not. Vietnam, as it is post-1975, is more-or-less a "what if" scenario for South Korea. Parents of these kids would do well to remind them that they are privileged and fortunate, and that they shouldn't be disrespect the people that very well could have been them.

[akaich0u.livejournal.com]

Oh, and not to mention that many modern-day Koreans are ethnically Vietnamese! Many Koreans today with the last name of "Lee" actually descended from one of the princes of the Ly Dynasty of Vietnam.

[perfume.livejournal.com]

Heh, your posts remind me of my dad always lecturing me about how similar (us) Vietnamese people are similar to Koreans, in both history and in some ways characteristically (hot-temperness, alcoholism, materialistic, etc.) and then whenever he'd go to Korea for business he'd tell all his Korean co-workers/business partners about it and they'd be all amazed and enlightened. It's also nice to know that out of all the countries he's worked in within the Pacific ring, he feels Korean people the easiest to work with. It just saddens me that there's still some an inferiority complex with Vietnamese people.

[akaich0u.livejournal.com]

It just saddens me that there's still some an inferiority complex with Vietnamese people.
Me too, yet I also understand that money changes a lot. Many modern young Korean people (especially teens and kids) don't realize that Vietnam was a lot more economically prosperous than Korea in the early-mid 20th century, and that losing the war also meant losing much of our wealth on top of our freedom. Lack of both makes for one hell of a morale-killer. It's unfortunate but because SK is a lot more well off now, the natural response of young people who have never known what it's like to actually fight for liberty, etc will be, well..condescending.

You actually see that in Vietnam too. Like the youngins who grew up in money just don't respect people of more humble means from the country and stuff anymore, because of that barrier. Actually you see it everywhere...money just rules the world. (cue Wu-Tang's "C.R.E.A.M" background music here)

[isabel9.livejournal.com]

I'm Vietnamese-American and I actually never had an inferiority complex about being Viet until I started getting into kpop. I never realized the stigma Vietnamese people have in Korea and how we are looked down upon. Sometimes I feel guilty about liking kpop too, since the culture of the people I'm admiring looks down on my own culture.

I think that a lot of the stigma comes from Vietnamese women marrying these Korean men (who are otherwise "un-marry-able"), but honestly, these women feel like they don't have any other choice. Koreans should be more sympathetic to them...South Korea is really lucky that they're industrialized. They were fortunate enough to become a separate non-communist society but North Korea is...well, yeah. No need to elaborate. Sigh, it's really depressing being looked down upon for no other reason than your ethnicity.

Yeah that was super long and ranty but I thought it was somewhat relevant.

agreed

[shinobu-kokoro.livejournal.com]

I totally understand were you are coming from...and truth be told I honestly think that many Koreans especially Kyopo Koreans look down on anyone who isn't Korean or White.

You shouldn't feel bad about enjoying Kpop, many people in Korea from what I have learned as foreigner that has lived there, is that many of them are just simply "ignorant" when it comes to foreigners. Believe it or not a lot of them simply have not come in contact with a foreigner before, probably besides their English teachers, and I'm sure you can guess what race they usually are.

Dude, as an African-American females I totally understand how it feels to be looked down upon just because of who you are...something that is prevalent both here in America and all around the world...as I said Koreans mostly do it because they don't know any better doesn't condone it but it explains to some extinct why they act the way they do towards foreigners.

Re: agreed

[isabel9.livejournal.com]

Thanks for replying ^_^. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. There is solidarity in being different I guess :B. Just out of curiosity, how long did you live in Korea?

Re: agreed

[shinobu-kokoro.livejournal.com]

No problem^^ yes totally understand how you feel, at time I feel guilty too for loving K-pop but then I think of all the money I have spent and how I own more K-pop cds than Americans one and I don't feel so bad :)

Yes, being different in Korea totally has its advantages. I lived in Korea for a year. I studied abroad there so I got a different prospective living there as college student^^ Living there was great had fun and visited there again two years ago :) Have u been to Korea?

[theycallmeriz.livejournal.com]

You shouldn't have any form of an inferiority complex about your race whatsoever. And I honestly don't think most Koreans- especially the younger, urban population who, let's be honest, if you visit are the only ones you'll be coming into contact with- would want you to have an inferiority complex.

I'm from the Indian Subcontinent so I guess that would mean I should be frowned upon even more than you, right? But one of my best friends went last Summer and she's Indian... She had groups of Korean boys following her around at Dongdaemun and when she was at the beach she got chatted up by LOADS and girls and ahjummas would just come up to her in the street to tell her she was beautiful... So honestly, I think although Korea DOES still need to do something to accept more cultures- if America can have a national sense of "WE ARE THE BEST", let Korea have that! They just need to learn to on the whole not look down on others. And teaching kids tolerance from a young age seems to be the way to go.

But seriously, can't stress how much you should definitely NOT feel inferior for being Viet.

[shinobu-kokoro.livejournal.com]

Such an interesting and enlightening post! This doesn't surprise me at all, how mixed raced families are treated in Korea. I've been watching a lot of Arirang lately and they have shows now dedicated to mixed families in Korea. All Together and Hand and Hand Story. It seems to be me that some people in Korea are trying to reach out and help out the children and wives, they are multi-cultural centers in Korea, I think that maybe many of the foreign woman just don't know about them or simply don't have the access to them.

As someone else mentioned if Korea really wants the Hallyu Wave to sweep the world, then they really need to be more open to accepting foreigners.

I totally noticed too while watching some of the shows on Arirang how the children would only learn Korean, and not their mother's native tongue as well, then on top of that many of the foreign wives would change and take on a Korean name. *smh* I understand that they are living in Korea and should learn Korean but at the same time why not educate your children on both sides of their heritage.

I'm just glad this type of issue is being address in Korea...as much as I love Korea, she has a lot of growth to do in terms of dealing with the many societal issues that are prevailing in their society.

thanks for this post!

[jela-ow.livejournal.com]

At present, there are no government programs to educate full South Koreans on accepting different cultures, which Kim of Save the Children says is the logical next step.

SK needs to get with the times and do something about this. It's going to be difficult but with the government doing something and pushing for this, it'll be easier than waiting for the Korean population to do it on its own. With the direction that the Hallyu Wave is going, I think this is imperative. A lot of people are now interested not only in the music that Korea has to offer but also the culture of the people.

[matineelove.livejournal.com]

it's just so ironic to me that korea is pushing their hallyu wave/culture/whatnot on the world and everyone is so accepting but they are one of the least willing people in terms of adapting/embracing other cultures. and they get so butthurt when one of their artists does not get treated well overseas.

honestly, it's goes both ways. putting yourself out there as a country that attracts foreigners to come visit/work etc, you have to be able to handle the change in demographic. not just brides but foreigners in general, alot of the korean people's attitudes/mindsets need to change for the better...

[so-much-kimchi.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this article. I'm a white girl and I grew up in China, always different with pale skin and blonde hair, but never frowned upon --- however, going to Korea, I get glared at every time. In China, they stare and shout "hello" and get shocked when my Chinese is just as good as theirs, but in Korea, people would rather just not talk to me at all, and thinking that I don't understand, they talk behind my back about how I dress, how my hair looks and the fact that I just ate this and that. And these are young, supposedly open-minded people. There's a big difference between a stare and a glare. I don't want to imply that all Korean people are like this - my best friend is Korean and I have dated several Korean boys - but the overall impression I get in Seoul is the same every time. "They don't really want me here." And that makes me sad.