Too Much Pressure on Women

[ashiva.livejournal.com]

(This is an opinion piece in Korea Times)

That South Korea has a suicide problem is no longer news. As shocking as it may seem for a country that just 20 years ago had one of the world's lowest rates, and to now have seen the level skyrocket to be one of its highest, is the reality that now haunts this country.

Authorities seem stumped over how to handle the situation. The best policy they've been able to construct is to ban the word ``suicide" from the Internet. This recent desperate foray to solve the problem communicates two things to us. First, that the government is low on ideas; second, that they aren't able to see the larger picture.

While teenage suicide clubs may make headlines, in reality, it is the high suicide rate among women that is keeping South Korea's suicide rate so high. And the trend is not isolated to South Korea alone, but is shared among its neighbors as well. South Korea, China, Japan, Hong Kong and Taiwan hold the top five spots in world suicide rates for women. That is no mere coincidence, but speaks clearly about something unique in East Asia that is leading women to kill themselves in greater numbers.

Taking four East Asian countries (China, Hong Kong, South Korea, and Japan) and comparing them with four Western countries of similar size (the United States, Italy, Germany and the Netherlands), the contrast in suicide rate among women is obvious. The average suicide rate for all of East Asia is 14.04 per 100,000 people, while for Western Europe the average is 6.43.

The numbers make one thing very clear. The suicide rate has very little to do with rapid economic development. Japan has been a developed country for a long time and Hong Kong for a significant period, yet it hasn't had any effect on reducing the suicide rate.

Japan, China and Korea couldn't be more different, yet there is something that they do share and that is the enormous pressure placed on women via archaic Confucian traditions. Women are expected to fit a certain model form. At all times they must give the impression of being upstanding, pure and loyal. They are burdened with the responsibility of raising children, managing households and, increasingly, working either to provide supplemental income or as the sole provider. They are expected to be every bit as successful as men, yet they are still laden with the commitments of the sheltered housewife. If a woman appears sexually in a movie or advertisement, she is demoted in the social hierarchy and carries a stigma with her. The same applies to a woman who divorces, yet no such stigmatization applies to men.

Compare this with the situation in Europe, where women can stroll topless on the beach, are treated equally at work and receive the caring support of husbands with regards to child rearing and chores.

Suicide is a desperate decision made by those who have lost hope, but it's also a symptom of a larger problem. For every woman that commits suicide, many more live in misery. To reduce suicides we need to reduce the misery of women in this country. And that's something that starts with men. Men in this country need to adopt a manner of caring and consideration toward their women. They need to step out of the traditional division of labor that society has taught them and re-evaluate the proper way to live and love their wife or girlfriend.

The government can only do so much to solve a problem that is buried within the thoughts and hearts of Koreans. To solve it, first we need to face it. Women must speak out about their unhappiness; dialogue must occur. And all the mothers, fathers, husbands and others must think carefully before using derogatory words to label women. Imagine if it was your daughter, your wife or your mother.

As Korea modernizes, women want to start living like their peers in other countries, but often they are being crushed between the life they want to live and the life they are being told they have to live. Families and loved ones must understand that putting enormous pressure on their girls and women isn't going stop modernization. It's time we thought about how we can help our women to be happy instead of instructing them. Lowering the numbers of suicides in this country starts with us.

The writer worked for three years at EWAS Uijeongbu, Gyeonggi Province, and LCI Kid's Club in Gangdong-gu, Seoul. He can be reached at johannphilipe@hotmail.com.

Source

Comments

[-ochre.livejournal.com]

The best policy they've been able to construct is to ban the word ``suicide" from the Internet.

This whole sentence is just wrong. This is the best policy? :(

[smilingsounds.livejournal.com]

That's making it worse, I think.

[ashiva.livejournal.com]

I think the writer was just sarcastic.

[shanny-w.livejournal.com]

ugh, that also bans suicide prevention websites.

[-ochre.livejournal.com]

Also, this article keeps harping on women, but there are no actual figures for women suicides in Korea to back it up. What about the men?

[ashiva.livejournal.com]

Well Korean males also top the statistics in suicides, however, the gap between male suicides in Korea and in other countries isn't that big as between Korean female suicides and female suicides in other countries:
http://oberon.sourceoecd.org/vl=3220637/cl=34/nw=1/rpsv/societyataglance2009/08/04/index.htm

[des-akazim.livejournal.com]

maybe it's because they're expected to be A+ smart, go to school a ridiculous amount of hours a day, be crazy skinny, but not "too skinny", have a naturally beautiful face, I could go on but...even with my male Korean friends, the pressure is waaay different from my female friends.

[telrunyaaa.livejournal.com]

THIS !

[ouoll.livejournal.com]

couldn't have said it better.

[sojufever.livejournal.com]

IA

[canyoucelebrate.livejournal.com]

Maybe if they didn't think a size 1 was fat this wouldn't be the case.

[berrycherry.livejournal.com]

A woman who kills herself because she is being called fat has serious issues.
It's a combination of hardcore pressure when it comes to looks, both physique and facial features. And being pressured to have good grades. And of course having time for family and friends. And a lover, maybe. While studing, idk, 12 hours a day or something.

[smilingsounds.livejournal.com]

Do you think people would listen if the women spoke out?

[littleoldmanboy.livejournal.com]

no

[anicaasharp.livejournal.com]

Men in this country need to adopt a manner of caring and consideration toward their women.

men in every country need to do adopt a manner of caring and consideration towards women.

[polysweet.livejournal.com]

this.

[shanny-w.livejournal.com]

If a woman appears sexually in a movie or advertisement, she is demoted in the social hierarchy and carries a stigma with her.

That's quite a contrast to how people say women have power by using their sexuality in the west (which by the way I think is just shit some man came up with then tramps bought into)

I wonder how Korea would be without Confucius. I think they would be a hell of a lot better off.

[xcherryblossomx.livejournal.com]

I wonder how Korea would be without Confucius. I think they would be a hell of a lot better off. THIS

Women are under a lot of pressure not only koreans/rest of asians. I think latin american women also have a lot of pressure to be a good mother, wife, pretty, etc. The difference is that catholic/christians believe that suicide is one of the biggest sins therefore the suicides rates arent as high as they are in Korea.

[lydzi.livejournal.com]

[i]The best policy they've been able to construct is to ban the word ``suicide" from the Internet. [/i]

I'm sorry... what?

[ari-meh.livejournal.com]

they need to stop.
this standard of proper females and males is just.. utopic.
people can never be absolutely perfect, living to fit a standard of perfect beauty, perfect success and perfect life is just... revolting.

at this point, they need to be taught basic instincts of survival, not 'how to become perfect in 10 steps'

this issue is very tragic and saddening ):

[dalpaengee.livejournal.com]

The best policy they've been able to construct is to ban the word ``suicide" from the Internet.
i disagree with this policy so hard

Men in this country need to adopt a manner of caring and consideration toward their women. They need to step out of the traditional division of labor that society has taught them and re-evaluate the proper way to live and love their wife or girlfriend.
this is a wonderful point, but i can't see it happening in full any time soon. this is something that is built into their culture and has been forever. it's not going to change over night.

Lowering the numbers of suicides in this country starts with us.
but i'm really glad that at least some people are recognizing the problem more. hopefully, more people can adopt this way of viewing the suicide problem and cause some change for the better.

[fehriku.livejournal.com]

How well do those work? idk the statistics, but everyone I know who should call those hotlines would never do so :/



that was sort of a scary edit to have to make D:

[onerainysunday.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of how the males in my family like to let me know from time to time how raising a family is the most important duty for a woman and that I shouldn't think about my career so much.

[des-akazim.livejournal.com]

wait a few years, just cackle at them over your latte on the way to your executive meeting * u *

[hoyah.livejournal.com]

the article is right in many respects, though it looks like suicide is a big problem across the board and every case is just as important, no matter which group you belong to and not just that of women's. maybe the writer didn't intend it, but it almost sounds like he's suggesting tackling the problem of suicide with women first.

[turdferguson.livejournal.com]

by banning the word "suicide", they are actually resisting. by that i mean is denying that this is a problem. they should create awareness. i wish some strong actors, singers, or some other celebrities should just come out and talk about this stuff. like an anti-suicide campaign or something.

[juhli.livejournal.com]

The article is quite shocking. I mean, i knew that there were many suicides in East Asia...but i didn't know that mostly women are killing themselves.

Compare this with the situation in Europe, where women can stroll topless on the beach, are treated equally at work and receive the caring support of husbands with regards to child rearing and chores.

This is NOT right. Europe is sure not as worse as Asia, but it's not just peace,love and ice-cream there, like the article implies to. Maybe you don't have to follow a certain role model in Europe, but it is not considered as normal to stroll topless on public beaches (FKK beaches are a different story), equal opportunities are tried to given, but as there are hardly women seen as the head of companies are generally in higher levels of big businesses, you can see how much it works. And the thing with the husbands...since Germany has an childbirth-rate of 1,34 per woman and Italy is even lower...there aren't many fathers here. The problematic is the same as in Asia...women have the pressure to be a mother AND modern, means not only doing the housework but also having a job and succeed in this job.

[orangeinsanity.livejournal.com]

I don't think the article was implying that Europe was all unicorns and rainbows at all, it was just saying it's better, not perfect. Doesn't Korea have a low birth rate as well? Though the popular is much great in Korea it's not the best comparison. Women pretty much everywhere have two jobs, the home and their career.

[yourexsilly.livejournal.com]

reading something like this makes me think that most Korean men would find most Americans and Europeans trashy. :/
It's a bit frustrating, too, when an idol says he wants a wife to just be a housewife, to basically cook and clean and do things for him that he can do himself. And how it's attractive to see a woman washing dishes and peeling fruit. What century do we live in?
I love dudes, I do, and when I get married, I'll do what I can for him. But I'd like to see a man pull a 9-5, come home and cook dinner, clean, get the kids bathed and into bed and then put out for his lady. I think he'd start singing a different tune after that

[dream-raine.livejournal.com]

i was kinda shocked when my korean friend told me tat korean couples abort the baby if they realise it's a girl....like wtf! altho i agree tat koreans r still in dark ages when it comes to women's rights, i'm not entirely convinced it's a reason for high suicide rates

[pat-ology.livejournal.com]

um..
I'm a sociologist so this topic is very interesting for me probably in other way than it is to you all :P
but I agree that women need to yell as loud as they can that they have enough of living like that. I'm wondering if there can be such cultural revolution like in USA in fighting about women rights.
This will be hard but without fighting for it situation won't be better..
but now it comes the issue : Korea is very traditional country and this tradition is very interesting. Such modern country and still so traditional. And such big revolution can have a negative influence on culture of Korea..
I can go and and on but as far this is the only thing in my head :P

oh and one more thing, are all Korean males really so strict?