Ku Hye Sun Shares List Of Rules She Asked Ahn Jae Hyun To Follow During Their Marriage

[juhli.livejournal.com]

On September 3, around 8 p.m. KST, Ku Hye Sun shared two photos on Instagram. Later, she added the caption, “Become a human,” which she then changed to, “All I really want is an apology.”

The first photo contains two pieces of paper, one titled “Things that Ahn Jae Hyun should be careful not to do (until March)” and one titled “Things Ku Hye Sun should be careful not to do.”

The list of rules for Ahn Jae Hyun reads:

If drinking outside, drink only until 11 p.m.
Don’t drink to the point of losing consciousness (be moderate).
Don’t be stubborn.
Don’t cause harm to others.
Put away your clothes when you take them off.
Clean up your food and dishes after eating (don’t pile them in the sink).
Put laundry in the laundry room.
Even if you’re feeling good because you’re drunk, don’t yell or slap or use other forms of violence.
Come home by midnight (apart from filming).
Clean up after the cat once every seven days.
Be careful what you say (especially what you say about others).
Put away your shoes.

The list with Ku Hye Sun’s name contains only the word, “Nothing.”

The second photo in the Instagram post shows Ku Hye Sun and Ahn Jae Hyun’s signatures on the back of the paper, suggesting that both of them agreed to this list of rules.


source: kookoo900, soompi, naver

Omona, what do you think of this kind of written agreement between partners? And what do you think about the rules?

Comments

[lulufairybubble.livejournal.com]

If somebody gives me a list like this, they are getting served with divorce papers. I'm not a child and you aren't my mom.

[juhli.livejournal.com]

Another scenario could have been that they both discussed it and wrote the list together....

[lulufairybubble.livejournal.com]

Ugh yet another reason why I never want to get married.

[infj23.livejournal.com]

I know the bitterness and the satisfaction from public humiliation she feels...but I wish she would walk away now and redirect her pain into someone/thing else other than him :(

[tsubaki874.livejournal.com]

I mean I can see how writing out these rules seems a bit extreme, but some couples need it in plain black and white. I had to make a chore list for my husband because he couldn't remember what he needed to do after work, and he does just fine having something tangible to remind him. I guess this is a bit more than a chore list, but everything she's written down isn't unreasonable, motherly maybe.

[jasmineakaiumi.livejournal.com]

I don't make a list for my bf (we live together), but I basically just remind him what needs to be done and it gets done. he's super proactive and great at doing stuff around the house, just forgetful. thinking of putting up a whiteboard of stuff that needs to get done during the week for both of us, because i forget too tbh haha

[daynr.livejournal.com]

these are not chores, these are behavior rules, including listing violence.

[tsubaki874.livejournal.com]

Half of the list is chores, that's why I talked about it being reasonable. If you think telling your partner to clean up after themselves is behavior controlling then we obviously have very different opinions and should just agree to disagree

[scionofawhisper.livejournal.com]

We don't really know anything about their marriage or context of this stuff, or what was really going on between them. It's impossible to judge and really, why she's sharing this. -_-

[greasetastic-x.livejournal.com]

I think that everything is pretty reasonable especially if he signed and agreed to it. You would think that some people would have the common knowledge/decency to follow most of this stuff but a lot of people don't.

[babyjenkski.livejournal.com]

I honestly believe that whatever works for married couples, they should follow it. If making a list of rules is something they agreed on from the start, then go for it. But then again my marriage didn't work so who am I to comment lol

[juhli.livejournal.com]

Even if you’re feeling good because you’re drunk, don’t yell or slap or use other forms of violence.
I mean, it could mean like friendly slaps etc., like overexcited drunks...but "other forms of violence" sound concerning.... and how often did he drink himself till blackout that there was a rule like this o.o
it definitely doesn't seem like this list was made at the beginning of the marriage....

[pseudo-shigure.livejournal.com]

yea that one is a flag for me

[forlornreverie.livejournal.com]

The fact that this needs to be written down is basically a "girl, run" flag for me.

[sra-interesante.livejournal.com]

that's ... worrisome

[honeebs.livejournal.com]

Whatever works...oh wait it didn't.
Messy, keep putting your business on SM.

[adenar.livejournal.com]

Sorry this was meant to be a standalone comment!

[adenar.livejournal.com]

Honestly, this looks like a last-ditch effort to get him to act decently and/or do the bare minimum in the house to me.

I don't think writing out a list for him was the right thing to do in this relationship but yeah I can imagine other people making it work, in a relationship with open and honest communication.

[torontok.livejournal.com]

This is why premarital counselling should be a thing

[ashdevilrun23.livejournal.com]

I mean she’s not asking too much from him based on the list..

[lydzi.livejournal.com]

Ia. Alexa, play Respect by Queen Aretha.

[ostsiberia.livejournal.com]

Damn why is it so hard to find a man who will do the bare minimum without an itemized list? >_

[lydzi.livejournal.com]

Wow. If she had to write down stuff like that it only means he was a propre nightmare to begin with...

She truly should have ditched him from the starr. She was probably in love or trying too much or too proud to admit how he was a failure, idk... It's sad.

[nekobot.livejournal.com]

He totally love bombed her and I think women aren't yet as informed about this kind of behaviour and able to differentiate when affection is genuine or just an attempt at manipulation. The fact that he was willing to speak so highly of her on every tv show he was on yet couldn't even be arsed to clean up his own cat shit at home should have been a major warning to her.

[revertigo.livejournal.com]

Lol girl.... you were winning the divorce. Keep this to yourself.

[katheli.livejournal.com]

kinda seems like this was doomed lol

but ngl neither of them come off very well in this situation, he seems to be an absolute asshole and she's dragging out all the dirty laundry in public

[mntsuklaa.livejournal.com]

As I said to aures in the other post earlier today, I'm not changing myself for anyone and I don't expect anyone to change themselves for me. If you have to write lists like these, you better make one for each of you, not just a long ass list for one person and "nothing!" for the other.
Whether someone is able and/or willing to do basic household chores (or just be a decent human being) is something that you should find out before you get married, which is why couples should absolutely live together before getting hitched.

[blck-ink.livejournal.com]

what led to her posting this? i feel like all the information disclosed earlier was enough to believe that he didn't treat her well in their marriage. this just looks weird now.

[dongsaengkiller.livejournal.com]

He is obviously still a child. So sad that she didn’t see all this before marrying the lout.

[donaldjdrumpf.livejournal.com]

Just a guess, but probably because she's an absolute child too. Team No One and I'm happy they're getting divorced now b/c their marriage seems toxic af and both need to mature clearly before their next relationship.

[happypurinsu.livejournal.com]

1) My issue with this isn't the list - sometimes, it's nice to have some 'guidelines' or whatever you want to call them, AND the listings themselves aren't unreasonable (though, should go without saying) - but that only his side has rules and she hasn't; that's not how a healthy relationship works, it should be compromises BOTH ways.

2) Drinking till violent and losing consciousness? Big red flag. Same with not cleaning up after himself and the pet(s). That's child behaviour, not a functioning adult.

3) In my opinion, she's crossing the line with posting petty shit like this. Statements? Sure, especially with the agency situation. But this is just childish.

[goldenrosalie.livejournal.com]

the 'rules' themselves are fine but writing them like that is a bit... i guess, it shows that their marriage was doomed right from the start if she felt the need to write down something that should be on the level of mutual understanding. laundry in laundry room? cleaning up after cat? cleaning dishes? these are such basic things. if their relationship even before marriage made her notice lack of basic manners in her future husband then she really should've dipped right away.
The list with Ku Hye Sun’s name contains only the word, “Nothing.”
see, if this was actual serious list where they needed to establish some rules then this is even a bigger problem as it shows lack of care or interest from her husband. such things need to come from both sides.

[pseudo-shigure.livejournal.com]

my take is that he's the kind of annoying person that can't be told once but needed to be reminded all the time. and that's not something that most people want to deal with, i get that. but the drunk slapping/other violent thing is a major flag.

but also, girl, the public sided with you already, just end it before the table turns. because between cat custody and this one it's nagl.

[daynr.livejournal.com]

WTF. All of you out there who think rules and shit are kind of necessary for relationships, you marry the person as they are, not who you want them to become. If you don't like who they are, don't marry them.

And who has to write out sh-t about violence? That, full stop, is a reason to leave.

This is so simple. Don't date people who aren't adults, regardless of age. If you're not an adult, figure your shit out or keep your genitals in the solitary ring.

What a gross dynamic. Even if he's a mess, who wants to married to a person who insists you change and agree to rules but is such a saint that they don't have to work on anything? NOPE.

[evilcoc0nut.livejournal.com]

Exactly this. You should NOT be marrying someone in expectations of changing them. And frankly, if you have to lay down a bunch of rules, you're basically acting like it's YOUR space and he/she is just residing in it. Which is not how a relationship works. Stay single.

[ty.livejournal.com]

Didn't they know each other like 2 minutes before getting hitched?

[nekobot.livejournal.com]

It's a terrible idea to keep airing this stuff out but reading this makes me wonder...are there any Korean men that can do the absolute least in the house?? Not even touching on the drunk stuff which is just messed up but it's so depressing how often you hear things along the lines of "My husband doesn't know how to peel an orange, dress himself or wipe his own ass" on TV and variety shows and it's played out for laughs when it's terrifying to think they're all reaching adulthood this stunted. Why are so many men getting away with not settling down with a proper partner but instead pursuing marriage with women willing to be their Sex Mom.

Anyway, justice for the cat.

[modestgoddess79.livejournal.com]

when MBLAQ was on the variety Hello Baby, they said they were looking for a Mom to clean

[nekobot.livejournal.com]

Ugh, what a red flag. Shows like Hello Baby and We Got Married really did the most to push outdated attitudes. It's sad because Mir and Lee Joon seemed like decent guys I think? I'd like to hope they've grown since then but men, when do they ever.

[hillando.livejournal.com]

Korean moms and grandmoms do the most for their offspring, and especially boys are coddled because 'they are boys and will be the breadwinners later in life, and will get a pretty wife to look after them when I'm too old to do it'. I've been here for like 3 years and am honestly surpised anytime I hear that a guy has basic survival skills.

Didn't Kyungri from 9 muses say something along the lines that men in entertainment never grew up because they've been revered from a young age? (and that's why she doesn't date them)

[hipployta.livejournal.com]

He already got busted for being with other women on his birthday but this list...my god how much must have she been manipulated into believing she was deeply in love to tolerate half of the mess on that list?

The implied domestic violence alone...

[goshipgurl.livejournal.com]

Mte about the domestic violence part.

[goshipgurl.livejournal.com]

It's sad that they even needed a list for him... These aren't some crazy rules, it's basically how every decent (adult) person should behave. Did they live together before getting married? It doesn't sound like they knew each other very well before tying the knot.

[baekpedaling.livejournal.com]

Just divorce already

[modestgoddess79.livejournal.com]

Ok, I had to google Love Bombing because I'd never heard of it before. Seems true based on what we've publicly seen of their relationship.