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It's the freakin weekennnnnnnd~ (⊙ꇴ⊙)
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Date: 2019-08-09 07:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-08-09 07:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2019-08-09 10:54 am (UTC)i think it says a lot about their fans tbh
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Date: 2019-08-09 07:56 am (UTC)Also I'm beyond bored to be at home but on the + side I got time to play with makeup
I did Jessica vu mango eye look and it turned out super cute so that was nice
I'm also cooking a lot & baking (mostly for others since there's a shit tone of thingsI can't eat but oh well
I also hope Vintage_boom is ok, they'll be missed but I understand why they left tbh
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Date: 2019-08-09 10:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2019-08-09 08:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-08-09 08:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2019-08-09 09:55 am (UTC)I've seen people being helped by mindfulness exercises. I had some coping exercises myself that helped a bit. What kind of intrusive thoughts do you have? - if you want to discuss about it of course! you don't have to answer <3
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Date: 2019-08-09 09:10 am (UTC)so my internship period is over last week, and I have to take the test to be promoted to an assistant. tl;dr I did terrible and my program manager advise me to transfer to another project for another 3 months and I take the chance.
The thing is, during the whole process my direct supervisor did not inform me anything, not even one word. While in fact he was the one that prepare the test. I do not expect him to be good for me, and I acknowledge my shortcoming and failure to meet the expectation. But I just frustrated at his silent treatment to me. He still talks to me daily, but never talk about the elephant in the room. I'd rather to get scold at and be done. I want to ask directly but I feel like thats only make me the drama queen lol. and being the overthinking and drama I am, I already cry 3 days in a row.
So this weekend I just want to binge all the kpop videos I've been piling these past months.
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Date: 2019-08-09 10:05 am (UTC)I think you're entitled to ask for feedback, not in order to be scolded, but to learn more about where your strengths are, and where you need to improve. You could approach it that way, not by saying "what are my shortcomings?" but by saying "in light of the test, what do I need to work on to get better results and what would you advise me to do as my supervisor?"
Good luck <3
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Date: 2019-08-09 10:14 am (UTC)good things:
- So I found out my blood type from going to the donation center last week. I'm a O- ! And since I suppose there was no problem with it, I could start making this a habit.
- I finally got to do a illustration project at work and the campaign was launched on Monday
less good things:
- the website with the illustration crops out like 80% of the picture so you can't even see it so it's like... thanks. Once again I wonder why I even bother having expectations when I'm just gonna be let down in the end
- my first week back to work from summer vacation and I'm already tired, with headaches in the morning. I hate how meaningless everything feels like and I'm tired of feeling sad and not feeling fulfilled by anything in my life anymore
- I was supposed to go to my first psychiatrist session yesterday but forgot it was at a different place than where I usually go so I went to the wrong placed and missed the appointment. I haven't even begun treating my depression and I'm always fucking done with myself and everything.
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Date: 2019-08-09 10:51 am (UTC)that illustration is GORGEOUS, wow. i love it so much - it feels so full of fantasy, it's really beautiful. sorry if i ask something dumb, i just honestly don't know, but did you make it using some kind of water paint? it's so stunning, i can't stop looking at it
sorry to hear that they cropped out so much of the picture though :/ and sorry that you are already tired :( is there a way you can enrich your life? maybe you can think about what's lacking or missing and maybe slowly try to incorporate it into your life if possible? i can really understand your feelings and it's really difficult to deal with and i'm sorry you also have to feel like that. i hope your psy will be able to help you. don't give up. i know this sounds ladielala but try to be kind and loving to yourself, even if it's just a little bit. don't be angry at yourself for feeling bad because the suffering an sich is already enough, you don't have to make yourself suffer on top of the suffering you already experience. big hug and know that you are not alone, you can always talk to me okay
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Date: 2019-08-09 10:45 am (UTC)how are you all? i hope you had a good week and i hope you'll all have a lovely weekend ahead of you
i'm feeling like absolute garbage, both mentally and physically but i just baked a vegan lemon blueberry zucchini banana bread and it smells yummy so i'm excited about that
also yesterday i read that a japanese group i really love is finally officially debuting next year (they are already very active, just did not have an album/cd/single debut yet) and i'm super happy for them, their company is doing a double debut which is super rare for that company (johnny's entertainment, for those interested - they are very good terms with SM Entertainment btw).
and as a family of 4 adults, we always have a lack of space in our fridge, it's always stuffed and now i finally got permission to buy my own private fridge lol. it seems a bit extra and over the top, but i'm the only person eating vegan, so i keep a lot of other types of foods in the fridge whereas the rest of the family shares their food. our fridge is VERY small btw, not one of those giant ones you always see like on tv lol but one of those super tiny ones. i'll get it tomorrow and i'm so excited. my dad says he knows a good place to put it i have no idea where because our house is super tiny but i'll just trust him and wait in excitement.
otherwise i'm really enjoying Itzy's comeback, i'm completely in l o v e with those girls, idk what it is, but i'm smitten
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Date: 2019-08-09 11:12 am (UTC)Yay to your own fridge for your vegan food :D I have a similarly small fridge atm and even by myself it feels so small, so sharing it with three other people??? it's going to be so much easier after tomorrow :)
I'm also really enjoying Itzy! Icy is absolutely perfect for commute, I blast it off my headphones and feels like no one can bother me lol. I enjoy seeing them perform too, their dancing is on point and they overall look confident and fun. I need to check the varietiy shows they've been on!
Who's your favourite member?
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Date: 2019-08-09 11:31 am (UTC)Also some April b-sides popped on my Spotify - ‘Just As We Are’ and ‘Oh-e-oh’ are lovely as well, I’m glad I didn’t let those slip by!
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Date: 2019-08-09 11:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2019-08-09 11:32 am (UTC)Mine would be :
- Itzy for groups. Their songs aren't my favourite of 2019 but I love their energy and performances. Everglow are really close seconds and Rocket Punch is growing on me even if I saw people calling them generic.
- Sulli for soloists. Not what I was expecting! but I'm impressed with her single and hope she'll release more songs. I've replayed On the Moon a lot recently, it's so dreamy.
Very chill and quiet week for me. Work has been slow since mid-July by now and I'm enjoying it lol. Looking forward to next week, I'll have an extended weekend to see the whole family and chill in my uncle's garden in the countryside, I can't wait!!!
My brother's cat is enjoying her life which makes me confident in adopting a cat with my current flat :) it's quite a relief honestly
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Date: 2019-08-09 11:52 am (UTC)I like everglow, the I find the rest to have been under performing, nothign new or exiting
Maybe I'm growing out of it
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Date: 2019-08-09 12:38 pm (UTC)So it’s been almost 2 months since the spice girls tour and I’m still on a high! It seems weird but I haven’t been depressed or anything since that trip DESPITE having a few rough moments. I’m so happy, I love them so much😭😭😭😭😭
Also still open to post collabs! Lol I should learn how to code
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Date: 2019-08-09 12:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2019-08-09 01:53 pm (UTC)I'm off on a last minute holidays later today so the last few days have been extremely busy. I welcome the stress and being busy over sitting around mulling over my unemployment.
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Date: 2019-08-09 03:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-08-09 03:56 pm (UTC)I just have to tell you guys how excited I was to go to some kpop stores this week! Because in Sacramento, the kpop resources consist of two rows of CD's at a Korean beauty store, that's pretty much it. But I was in Las Vegas and my brilliant husband suggested that I look for kpop stores and I found two!! I was so excited!! Double-exclamation-mark excited!! The first place, KPOP USA, was overwhelming. OMG. SO. MUCH. MERCH. I wandered around in a daze with my friend (who knows nothing about kpop except for a few videos I showed her; she agreed that Minho ripping off his shirt is A Very Good Lewk). There wasn't much SHINee stuff, although they did have the pearl aqua lightstick (with which I took a selfie) and some CD's--I ended up getting the repackage of Key's album because I was totally addicted to it last summer/fall and it was a decent price ($21.99). OTOH they had an entire WALL of BTS stuff! And loads of merch from other bands I like, ex. Red Velvet, Seventeen and Pentagon. Sooo tempted to buy sooo much but somehow restrained myself.
The other kpop store was smaller but my friend insisted on buying me a SHINee commuter cup there, and the staff person was kind enough to throw in some Story of Light promo pics. They also had some of the BTS dolls, which I've never seen in person before. Apparently they are being sold at Target, if any US person wants to get them, or merely behold their glory in person. The Namjoon doll seems to be calling my name... ;) And at first I was pleased to see other older women--i.e. our age--were there, but then we overheard them talking and yes, they were shopping for their daughters. *sigh* Sometimes it really does seem like I'm the World's Oldest Shawol (the tag I use at Tumblr). But I wouldn't change it for anything.
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Date: 2019-08-09 09:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2019-08-09 04:51 pm (UTC)Nuggets of scientific progress in a world that often seems like a dumpster fire of poor choices. Thank you science for continuing, please don't let the life form we introduced to the moon turn our future into a scifi horror movie (except maybe for people who still support Trump or vote for Mitch.) (j/k). (kinda).
Hang in there omonians. downcycles lead to up, eventually.
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Date: 2019-08-09 06:12 pm (UTC)Idk why but out of nowhere I started getting salty about Twice and their success again (even though I like some of their songs). It’s not the fact that they are successful tho. It’s just the fact that they’re the biggest GG right now despite no one in the group being a good singer. I learned the other day that Jihyo (sorry bb using you bc you’ve been in the news) was a trainee for ten years and her singing is still average. Could you imagine training a whole decade for something, not improving, and then becoming extremely successful at that thing and making big money off of it?
I know visuals are a huge thing in SK and kpop, esp over the past view years with visual-only groups. But I just can’t get past idols becoming idols and becoming famous solely because of their looks. Like people literally get into companies with average singing voices/dancing, only getting in because of their looks and then don’t improve and still get picked for the final lineup?? You think I would know better by now as a kpop fan of almost nine years but I really can’t get past it.
Anyways bless you if you’ve read this far and thanks for coming to my ted talk lol. I promise I actually like them as a group but these feelings I had when they first debuted came up out of nowhere again.
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Date: 2019-08-09 06:46 pm (UTC)I've gotten back into politics because how can you not and did ya'll see what Joe Biden said?!?! What an absolute fucking idiot. I'm trying to stay super positive about elections coming up because if I don't I'll literally die.
Other than that still job searching and realizing if it doesn't happen any time soon I'll take my full time position at the library I've been working at and commute and idk how I long I can do that.
Has anyone been listening to Tablo's podcast? I love him so much and he is so funny and just has a soothing personality. He is really that big brother kind of "idol" I've also been having concert withdrawals and I just found out that MUNA are going to be in Chicago in October and I am definitely going to see them.
I've been all over the place in this comment but my birthday is in NINE days and I am going to be 27 and even though the world feels like it's going to hell in a hand basket I am so proud of myself for being here. It's lit ya'll.
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Date: 2019-08-09 08:14 pm (UTC)I'm in a so-called liberal bastion and last night, again, found some fools who still support drump. And it's always men with daughters. I cannot with men's determination to never ever give up any unearned power or privilege.
BUT! there is good news out there, and good things, and I will add Tablo's podcast to the list, and I wish you a very happy birthday. 27 is an achievement, I wish I could meet it again. ;)
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Date: 2019-08-09 10:13 pm (UTC)in english-speaking news, i have my interview/spanish exam for the airline on tuesday! i fly to the city where my interview is being held on monday, and they have a kpop store at a mall near the hotel i'm staying at so i'm gonna go spend money i don't have and at least buy ateez's first mini~
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Date: 2019-08-10 02:21 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2019-08-10 01:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-08-10 02:11 am (UTC)between the mass shootings over last weekend and president cheeto's staged "condemnation" of white nationalists... it's been an exhausting week, lmao. i can't even think about el paso, because then i think about the one man who watched his nephew get killed in front of him, and then i'll cry. targeting people because of their race or legal status or anything like that is inexcusable; they are human beings. and for cheeto to say "my words bring people together" is infuriating. sure, they bring people together! if you're talking about nazis, anyway.
UGH, sorry for the novel. i'm just tired of that asshole and all the other assholes just like him.
my hearing is getting closer! i'm honestly really anxious about it. i know things like this are usually settled after meeting the ALJ but still... pray for me, please. :')
i had my first pap today and it wasn't pleasant, but i figured i might as well. i turn 25 in 2 months and was told to do it at 25, so i got a jump on that, lol. the doctor was super nice, too. i told her i felt like someone was ripping my guts out w/ my last cycle, that i bleed heavily every month, and that i pass big pieces of tissue. so i have to go back next month for an ultrasound. she's gonna look for cysts, fibroids, things like that. she did tell me that if the ultrasound is normal, i should probably use a different type of birth control simply because my cycles are so painful and heavy. she recommended Mirena IUD, which sounds super appealing after reading about it. the fact that it's not estrogen makes me feel at ease.
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Date: 2019-08-10 02:25 am (UTC)Insertion sucks, but it sucks for a really really short period of time (like less than 2 minutes) relative to the payoff. And, if you're nervous, your practitioner should be willing to issue a pain killer + anti-anxiety in advance. Take advantage.
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Date: 2019-08-10 03:24 am (UTC)Today I felt like death.