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omonatheydidBy SE-WOONG KOO
SEOUL, South Korea — My mother fled South Korea for two years in her 20s because she couldn’t stomach her domineering father. On her return, she was married off to my conservative father, whom she gradually realized she didn’t care for. Divorce was still taboo, so she opted to go to Canada with me in tow. The pretext for this long-distance marriage was my education, but it was also for her freedom from patriarchal expectations.
More than two decades have passed. She keeps her address in Canada but now spends considerable time with my father in Seoul. She also dines occasionally with her father, a frail man in his 90s. The arrangement works since the men in her life have grown subdued and she has more say over her life. With time, gender equality came to our family. Patiently waiting for improvement in gender relations, however, is not a strategy for South Korea.
The country awoke on May 17 to shocking news that a young woman had been stabbed to death in a bar restroom in a busy shopping district in Seoul. Reports of murder are hardly rare in this country, but the 30-something male suspect’s motive stunned people. After the arrest, he told the police that he committed the crime because women had always ignored him.
The incident prompted testimonials from many women about the amount of misogyny they endure. A large number of men, in turn, dismissed the notion that the killing was an act of misogyny and said that women were being hysterical.
Many men would rather not acknowledge that South Korea is an entrenched patriarchy and that toxic gender relations are taking a toll on society. Women’s status has stalled in the 21st century. Too many of them are treated like second-class citizens and suffer undue violence, objectification and discrimination.
There is no easy solution, but one important step would be to pass the anti-discrimination bill, which has stalled in the National Assembly for nearly a decade. It would mandate equal treatment for everyone regardless of gender or other factors. A clearly worded law would signal that women and minorities deserve equal rights.
It’s only on the surface that South Korea has made strides toward equality for women. The first female president currently leads the nation. We have an independent ministry of gender equality and family. Some 24-hour convenience stores are designated as places of refuge for women fleeing harm.
Still, the reality for South Korean women remains bleak.
Women made up 86 percent of all violent crime victims in 2013, according to police data (most violent crime is sexual in nature, and women suffer disproportionately from sexual crimes). Women aren’t safe at home, either: Reports of violence against women perpetrated by their husbands have been rising in recent years.
Women fare just as poorly in how they’re depicted. South Korean movies often show images of unimaginable cruelty toward the female body. A popular television cooking show recently described sizzling strips of pork belly as “better-looking than the rear” of a young girl-group member.
It’s no wonder then that the World Economic Forum ranks the country 115th out of 145 countries in gender equality. Women earn only two-thirds of what men earn, according to the Ministry of Employment and Labor. Women made up 2.3 percent of corporate executives at 348 of the largest 500 companies in South Korea in 2015 (others were exempt from reporting).
The typical male response to the May 17 killing hints at just how deep misogyny runs. Men invaded the memorial websites for the victim and flooded comment sections, telling women they were overreacting.
“You are as helpless as you let yourself be,” one man said on Facebook.
The culture of misogyny and gender inequality may be affecting family life, in a country facing predictions of population collapse. Research shows that a low fertility rate in developed countries reflects backward attitudes over female gender roles. Last year, the South Korean marriage rate tumbled to the lowest level in 12 years, and the birth rate is perennially one of the lowest in the world.
Meanwhile, South Korean men hold the record for doing the least amount of housework among the men in the world’s most developed countries — an average of just 45 minutes per day, or one-fifth of the time a South Korean woman spends.
As gender discussions heated up after the bar killing, the police asked the Korea Communications Standards Commission, the agency in charge of monitoring the internet, to delete online posts, which were said to exacerbate the tensions, in order to “prevent online conflicts from manifesting as society-wide conflicts.”
The government routinely scrubs what it deems unsavory from the internet, so this action wasn’t unusual. But in this case — removing individual citizens’ posts that used colorful language to express low opinions of men or women — it simply shut down the debate about women in society. Stifling speech is no cure for a rot deep inside South Korea.
Passing the long-stalled anti-discrimination bill would help reduce discrimination, create legal protections and compensation, and, hopefully, reduce misogyny. Although various United Nations conventions urge adoption of such a law, similar efforts have failed three times in the National Assembly since 2007 due to objections from the evangelical lobby and the business community.
My mother has made peace with her life. It’s her father who now regrets having infringed on her freedom. “You could’ve become a somebody,” he repeats at family meals, recalling her various talents. His change of heart comes too late for her, but it’s not too late to give respect to South Korean women of new generations.
Source: NY Times
While most of us already know that gender equality in S. Korea is not good, I thought this article had some interesting bits in it.
SEOUL, South Korea — My mother fled South Korea for two years in her 20s because she couldn’t stomach her domineering father. On her return, she was married off to my conservative father, whom she gradually realized she didn’t care for. Divorce was still taboo, so she opted to go to Canada with me in tow. The pretext for this long-distance marriage was my education, but it was also for her freedom from patriarchal expectations.
More than two decades have passed. She keeps her address in Canada but now spends considerable time with my father in Seoul. She also dines occasionally with her father, a frail man in his 90s. The arrangement works since the men in her life have grown subdued and she has more say over her life. With time, gender equality came to our family. Patiently waiting for improvement in gender relations, however, is not a strategy for South Korea.
The country awoke on May 17 to shocking news that a young woman had been stabbed to death in a bar restroom in a busy shopping district in Seoul. Reports of murder are hardly rare in this country, but the 30-something male suspect’s motive stunned people. After the arrest, he told the police that he committed the crime because women had always ignored him.
The incident prompted testimonials from many women about the amount of misogyny they endure. A large number of men, in turn, dismissed the notion that the killing was an act of misogyny and said that women were being hysterical.
Many men would rather not acknowledge that South Korea is an entrenched patriarchy and that toxic gender relations are taking a toll on society. Women’s status has stalled in the 21st century. Too many of them are treated like second-class citizens and suffer undue violence, objectification and discrimination.
There is no easy solution, but one important step would be to pass the anti-discrimination bill, which has stalled in the National Assembly for nearly a decade. It would mandate equal treatment for everyone regardless of gender or other factors. A clearly worded law would signal that women and minorities deserve equal rights.
It’s only on the surface that South Korea has made strides toward equality for women. The first female president currently leads the nation. We have an independent ministry of gender equality and family. Some 24-hour convenience stores are designated as places of refuge for women fleeing harm.
Still, the reality for South Korean women remains bleak.
Women made up 86 percent of all violent crime victims in 2013, according to police data (most violent crime is sexual in nature, and women suffer disproportionately from sexual crimes). Women aren’t safe at home, either: Reports of violence against women perpetrated by their husbands have been rising in recent years.
Women fare just as poorly in how they’re depicted. South Korean movies often show images of unimaginable cruelty toward the female body. A popular television cooking show recently described sizzling strips of pork belly as “better-looking than the rear” of a young girl-group member.
It’s no wonder then that the World Economic Forum ranks the country 115th out of 145 countries in gender equality. Women earn only two-thirds of what men earn, according to the Ministry of Employment and Labor. Women made up 2.3 percent of corporate executives at 348 of the largest 500 companies in South Korea in 2015 (others were exempt from reporting).
The typical male response to the May 17 killing hints at just how deep misogyny runs. Men invaded the memorial websites for the victim and flooded comment sections, telling women they were overreacting.
“You are as helpless as you let yourself be,” one man said on Facebook.
The culture of misogyny and gender inequality may be affecting family life, in a country facing predictions of population collapse. Research shows that a low fertility rate in developed countries reflects backward attitudes over female gender roles. Last year, the South Korean marriage rate tumbled to the lowest level in 12 years, and the birth rate is perennially one of the lowest in the world.
Meanwhile, South Korean men hold the record for doing the least amount of housework among the men in the world’s most developed countries — an average of just 45 minutes per day, or one-fifth of the time a South Korean woman spends.
As gender discussions heated up after the bar killing, the police asked the Korea Communications Standards Commission, the agency in charge of monitoring the internet, to delete online posts, which were said to exacerbate the tensions, in order to “prevent online conflicts from manifesting as society-wide conflicts.”
The government routinely scrubs what it deems unsavory from the internet, so this action wasn’t unusual. But in this case — removing individual citizens’ posts that used colorful language to express low opinions of men or women — it simply shut down the debate about women in society. Stifling speech is no cure for a rot deep inside South Korea.
Passing the long-stalled anti-discrimination bill would help reduce discrimination, create legal protections and compensation, and, hopefully, reduce misogyny. Although various United Nations conventions urge adoption of such a law, similar efforts have failed three times in the National Assembly since 2007 due to objections from the evangelical lobby and the business community.
My mother has made peace with her life. It’s her father who now regrets having infringed on her freedom. “You could’ve become a somebody,” he repeats at family meals, recalling her various talents. His change of heart comes too late for her, but it’s not too late to give respect to South Korean women of new generations.
Source: NY Times
While most of us already know that gender equality in S. Korea is not good, I thought this article had some interesting bits in it.
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no subject
Date: 2016-06-14 10:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-14 10:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-14 11:03 pm (UTC)"Women made up 86 percent of all violent crime victims in 2013, according to police data (most violent crime is sexual in nature, and women suffer disproportionately from sexual crimes). [...] It’s no wonder then that the World Economic Forum ranks the country 115th out of 145 countries in gender equality. Women earn only two-thirds of what men earn, according to the Ministry of Employment and Labor. Women made up 2.3 percent of corporate executives at 348 of the largest 500 companies"
wow... I just don't have words for this.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 03:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-14 11:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-14 11:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-14 11:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-14 11:32 pm (UTC)“You are as helpless as you let yourself be,” one man said on Facebook.
FUCK YOU. You have male privilege so your opinion is VOID. Also guess what?? You're as un-empathetic as you allow yourself to be. Look at your life and look at your choices.
A popular television cooking show recently described sizzling strips of pork belly as “better-looking than the rear” of a young girl-group member.
um WTF. WTF WTF WTF.
“You could’ve become a somebody"
too real.
It's ridiculous that the anti-discrimination bill hasn't passed yet, but not surprising that the evangelical lobbyists and business community would object. From what I understand, it's normal for businessmen to go out for drinks after work and get drunk, and often times come home late in the night. They work long hours, even on weekends too. Consequently, they spend extremely little time at home. If gender relations were improved, however, and women got more career opportunities and were relieved of the expectation and obligation to stay at home and look after the children and house, well, then, who would?? The businessmen probably balked and scoffed at the idea, and tripped over their selfish asses protesting the bill.
I'm not Korean, but I'm of Chinese descent and I find a lot of similarities in how misogyny has insidiously warped women's sense of self and severely limited our ability or even desire to achieve.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 12:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-14 11:38 pm (UTC)Although a bit depressing also :/ *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2016-06-14 11:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-14 11:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-14 11:50 pm (UTC)I remember when I first started to watch kdramas I didn't realize how much the reality women experience in Korea is sugarcoated. And those comments from Korean men saying women were over reacting are appalling! It's really a case to argument what if it had been their daughter, wife, mother or sister? Would they still be able to say that with a straight face? Would they still feel the same and go on thinking there's nothing wrong with the world they live in? Just take a look at those statistics. It's truly appalling.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 12:41 am (UTC)The more empowered, educated, and self-sufficient women become in society, the less control men have over them... and of course they don't want that. How can the men feel like real oppas when women start demanding respect? Before, their manliness was just handed to them on a plate by gender roles. If things change, they might have to start earning respect and what a shock that would be!
no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 01:39 am (UTC)I also love that the wife is career oriented and although she takes a lot of shit at work, still goes after what she wants. The couple is loving and supportive of one another. The drama really is refreshing daily and I hope a lot of people watch it and learn from it. Hopefully social conscious and minds could be changed/molded differently with this representations which could lead to the norm (stay at home dad wives or at least sharing the household burden and child rearing) and not taboo.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 03:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 05:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 06:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 06:31 am (UTC)It's frankly depressing. Man.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 06:53 am (UTC)thanks for posting op! i always love these sorts of posts on omona.
no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 07:23 am (UTC)They were whining like babies about it and the law ended up not being passed.. Also with the whole Orlando incident, you wouldn't imagine how many comments of "Good, they deserve to die", "How can we hire this guy to murder some insects (aka gay) people around here?", "they deserve to be killed, they shouldn't exist.", the articles had. I seriously hate the people in my country, and what's worse is its not the only country like this either.
It saddens me that South Korea has similar issues as well. Why's the world so effed up? Makes me want to cry in anger tbh.
Sorry for the long rant :(
no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 09:39 am (UTC)The drinking is used as an ice breaker between coworkers. They're not "allowed" to be themselves when they are sober/at work. They have super rigid social and business relationships (in Japan's case, think senpai/kouhai) while at the same time needing to retain a strong group dynamic, because the culture is VERY group oriented as opposed to individualistic like most western countries.
Drinking after work is seen as the one time some of the social barriers can come down and people can relax and get to know one another. It's also mandatory for many employees because it's seen as team building~ and helping to foster group dynamics that will later improve work ethics. (Or so they say.) You have to have a DAMN good reason to not go to the end of the week drinking party. "I have a family" is not one of them.
As for the mothers, their existence centers around raising the children (and at least in Japan it was very focused on driving kids to all of their activities / feeding them / helping them with homework, etc.) and basically mothering the husband when he makes an appearance at 11pm and gets up again at 6am. In Japan's case (again I keep referencing Japan because it's what I have my background in but in many ways Japan and Korea are super duper similar in this regard) there is HUGE social pressure for women to fulfill this role. In Meiji time there was the slogan "Good Wife Wise Mother" and it still carries on today. Families are "about" men going to work to support the family / create the country's economy and standing in the world. The mother's role is to foster a homebase and raise the next generation of workers/mothers. In older times it was also to care for the husband's aging parents and sometimes this is still true today. It's an incredibly hard cycle to break since there are limited resources for child care and many women are shoehorned into disposable positions in companies since those companies assume she'll quit to get married and fulfill the mother role in her marriage. (And if she doesn't, she faces a LOT of passive aggressive backlash, both in the company and society in general.) It's slowly getting better, but it's REALLY slow. Like molasses slow when compared to places like here in America.
I hope that helped explain it a little bit. It's a really toxic thing in a lot of ways, but it's so deeply entrenched in society that most people feel beholden to go along with it out of a sense of social obligation.
no subject
Date: 2016-10-12 11:07 pm (UTC)mte!! it's all fine and dainty if the woman chooses motherhood but she shouldn't be forced/coereced into a life of slaving away at the house and looking after children while men go off and get drunk off their tits. the most important thing should be choice!
no subject
Date: 2016-06-15 01:39 pm (UTC)Sure, the murderer himself said that he killed her, because he hates women, but no of course not, it's just b*tches been hysterical again! >:(
no subject
Date: 2016-10-12 11:10 pm (UTC)