Had some issues tracing this video's origin, but it seems to have come from a personal Vimeo channel of hers? I am always interested in hearing the stories of former trainees. Nice to hear she has dealt with her problems and is doing much better now!
She's so inspiring, I really admire her. I remember watching this when she first posted it on her blog and I felt so sorry for her, after all she went through and finally starting a new life, only to have the rumors following her. I remember people on here used to speculate that she was dealing with ED, and to hear her talk about is surreal. I remember following her on Twitter when she took a break from uni and was in Korea, and I remember people were harassing her on Twitter (about siwon) and knowing what she dealt with through this interview.. She's so strong.
really nice to hear her story. good to see that she found a way to turn what she went through into something positive not just for her own life, but for others. I hope she can help her other friends in the industry to deal with whatever they're going through...
I'm just curious about something: during her trainee period, she went back and forth US and korea? is this something ""normal"" for overseas trainees? I thought they need to stay in korea to train like every day....
It's probably depend on training period? From what older SM idols told it wasn't so time consuming back in the days like they went to school, had some part time jobs and in between pop in SM to train, and go through weekly (?) evaluation. Things probably change when they are chosen as potential debutees
it's rare but i think smrookies johnny, who's been training since 2008, only trained in summers until he graduated from high school in the us and then moved to korea full-time (i'm not 100% sure of details though), while smrookies mark moved from canada to korea and attends high school there. i think wendy already graduated when she moved
I think it depends, tiffany and yoohwan(yoochun's little brother back when he was training at sm) trained over the summer or during school breaks. I guess it depends on what they work out with the company and where they're living..
"The way that people started to judge me became who I was" People can be so mean and horrible. All the judgment and the harsh environment in the industry. What an inspiring story.. She's so eloquent and her voice and manner of speaking is so soothing. Good for her.
I'm glad her parents intervened and she was able to overcome her eating disorder. Pre-debut/training periods seem so horrible. Kudos to any idol that can look back fondly on that time in their lives.
This is something I really struggle with as a kpop fan. I love seeing my faves perform and succeed, but there's always that niggling doubt - are they really happy in the industry, and if so, is that because it's all they know? Would they have been better off having a normal childhood? Is more success actually a good thing for their mental/physical wellbeing? Or does it bring more problems i.e. overwork, sasaengs, pressure to maintain their image etc?
Anyway, kudos to her for finding her way in life and having the strength to share it with the world.
She's really well spoken. I'm glad she made the right choice by leaving what was an obviously toxic environment and that she was able to get to a good place both mentally and physically. I wonder if the weighing scenario she described still occurs
I think it is and more, seeing how many underage idols debuts, already sporting new noses ans such, and popularity of Hallyu Wave bring a lot more idols hopefuls to the table, competition and evaluation got probably a lot tougher. I wish we had lot more interviews like this, it was really interesting look behind scenes without being sensationalist and unnecessary dramatic.
oh, absolutely, in some ways, if we're talking about ballet dancers who are training for the most elite companies in the country. but i think the difference lies in the system of training.
most of the best ballet dancers train full time and attend high schools that structure their curriculums as half-dance, half-academics, but they're not tied to a particular company that they'll inevitably sign a contract with in the vast majority of cases. (the most notable exceptions are abt and nycb in new york. abt takes many of its corps members from its junior companies, and nycb only signs corps members who attend the school of american ballet. those kids are taught by current or former dancers in those respective companies.)
without the power structures in place that would allow for the extremes stella's talking about, it isn't entirely comparable. plus, ballet is something that just can't be done well without a proper diet and excellent fitness. anyone who would like to be a ballet dancer wouldn't survive without some measure of self-care. they have school doctors if they're training full-time, ofc, but they wouldn't ever be weighed publicly. the worst american dancers experience is being openly ranked during their school years — so everyone knows who's the best in what class — but that's just the norm when it comes to coursework in general. though the teachers are probably as harsh as the ones trainees have, tbh. i'll say that.
when you're beholden to a particular company's wants and needs, that's when things get dangerous, i think. :/ sm seems to have a particularly poisonous trainee environment where visuals are highly prized. a girl can have an eating disorder or body dysmorphia and still be an idol, and probably no one would be the wiser. eventually, those issues would be a huge detriment to a ballet dancer's career because of the amount of athleticism and assuredness that ballet requires.
and then there's the fact that idols are famous and ballet dancers aren't. idols have many more people to please at the end of the day; ballet has a few choice fans who know who's who.
This was a good talk. I'm glad she's gained perspective and seems to have found her center, though it is a little worrying that she's working in food/nutrition. As someone who's had an ED, I know how difficult recovery can be, and it's not just eating normally. It's very easy to relapse, especially if you're thinking about food and how to eat all the time. Recovering from an ED's kinda like recovering from an addiction, but you still need to eat. You can't just avoid the center of your thoughts. I hope her experiences continue to fuel her in a positive direction, and she's able to help people treat themselves with respect and express themselves as they desire instead of closing in on themselves and covering up for others. It's a very positive thing - what she wants to do.
that was an interesting watch, i'm glad she's worked through her issues and come out a stronger person. i'm not surprised by what she said, i think everyone knows how harsh training is (and most of it is done on impressionable kids too, who would be more prone to developing issues like that) and while sm is notorious about it, they're not the only ones doing it, sadly. also her voice is really pleasant i could listen to her talk for hours.
i'm glad she got through it and she's doing better but her love yourself message is kinda misguided. in america it's common but there have been cases of high-profile celebrities going through eating disorders too and young women in general. beauty standards have to change as well as the idol industry. there is only so much being strong can help with when you're part of society and consumer culture. recently another girl group talked about how their weight was announced to everyone too and how they're reprimanded for not losing weight just like she was back then. things have stayed the same. her experience in college sounds horrible. they were ganging up on her like it was high school. like how? the celebrity worship is through the roof and sexism: you can't be successful if you're not pretty. this makes me so sad. why can't they just hire nutritionists and trainers for idols when they already spend so much money on their training anyway?
i met her once in ny through my roommate who was a good family friend of hers. she had changed to majoring in nutrition by then and was rly friendly and energetic. if i wasn't a kpop fan i wouldn't have known she went through all this as a teenager she just seemed like any other college student. idg what those international krn students were talking about tbh bc she's still super skinny, fashionable, and overall pretty. glad she's doing so well now!
I can't with how it seems like she's just blaming everything on korean culture and being korean and how everything american and western is so great. like no. this is just sad to watch.
Did you finish watching? She came back to a healthy relationship with food by learning about Korean food while in Korea. Without listening to the whole story, you don't get the whole picture.
i dont have a problem with criticising korean culture. i have a problem with her criticising korean culture on the basis that it is not american culture.
This was really enlightening to watch. I thought she was brave to put herself out there, talk about her struggles with eating and self-image issues, and really tell her story. It's not really hard for me to imagine all those terrible things and the weight comparisons; reminds me of all the times I would go back to Japan every summer and meet relatives.
I'm glad she seems to be in a better place and hopefully happy!
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no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 05:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 05:39 pm (UTC)i'm glad she was able to overcome her eating disorder
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Date: 2016-03-19 05:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 05:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 06:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 06:26 pm (UTC)I'm just curious about something: during her trainee period, she went back and forth US and korea? is this something ""normal"" for overseas trainees? I thought they need to stay in korea to train like every day....
no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 06:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 08:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 10:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 11:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 06:31 pm (UTC)People can be so mean and horrible. All the judgment and the harsh environment in the industry. What an inspiring story.. She's so eloquent and her voice and manner of speaking is so soothing. Good for her.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 06:41 pm (UTC)Pre-debut/training periods seem so horrible. Kudos to any idol that can look back fondly on that time in their lives.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 06:54 pm (UTC)Anyway, kudos to her for finding her way in life and having the strength to share it with the world.
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Date: 2016-03-19 07:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 08:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 10:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 07:16 pm (UTC)I wonder if the weighing scenario she described still occurs
no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 07:28 pm (UTC)I wish we had lot more interviews like this, it was really interesting look behind scenes without being sensationalist and unnecessary dramatic.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 07:47 pm (UTC)most of the best ballet dancers train full time and attend high schools that structure their curriculums as half-dance, half-academics, but they're not tied to a particular company that they'll inevitably sign a contract with in the vast majority of cases. (the most notable exceptions are abt and nycb in new york. abt takes many of its corps members from its junior companies, and nycb only signs corps members who attend the school of american ballet. those kids are taught by current or former dancers in those respective companies.)
without the power structures in place that would allow for the extremes stella's talking about, it isn't entirely comparable. plus, ballet is something that just can't be done well without a proper diet and excellent fitness. anyone who would like to be a ballet dancer wouldn't survive without some measure of self-care. they have school doctors if they're training full-time, ofc, but they wouldn't ever be weighed publicly. the worst american dancers experience is being openly ranked during their school years — so everyone knows who's the best in what class — but that's just the norm when it comes to coursework in general. though the teachers are probably as harsh as the ones trainees have, tbh. i'll say that.
when you're beholden to a particular company's wants and needs, that's when things get dangerous, i think. :/ sm seems to have a particularly poisonous trainee environment where visuals are highly prized. a girl can have an eating disorder or body dysmorphia and still be an idol, and probably no one would be the wiser. eventually, those issues would be a huge detriment to a ballet dancer's career because of the amount of athleticism and assuredness that ballet requires.
and then there's the fact that idols are famous and ballet dancers aren't. idols have many more people to please at the end of the day; ballet has a few choice fans who know who's who.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 08:10 pm (UTC)also her voice is really pleasant i could listen to her talk for hours.
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Date: 2016-03-19 09:06 pm (UTC)i know she struggled a lot afterwards, but it seems she came out stronger, or at least smarter.
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Date: 2016-03-19 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 10:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-19 10:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-20 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-20 04:09 am (UTC)bye.
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Date: 2016-03-20 04:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-20 05:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-21 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-22 07:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-22 10:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-03-20 11:51 am (UTC)I'm glad she seems to be in a better place and hopefully happy!
no subject
Date: 2016-03-27 06:15 pm (UTC)