LOOKS LIKE IT WAS A SLOW NEWS DAY FOR DISPATCH LAST WEEK...

[stoppedclock321.livejournal.com]

Could he be put in the Guinness Book of World Records? Previously-unknown, the nickname-rich Kyuhyun.

Nicknames. They usually come from special things based on your appearance or personality. They're different things people call you.

Everyone has nicknames. Usually people have 1 or 2, or at most not more than 5. The idol richest in nicknames is here.

His nicknames are infinite. If you had to recite his nicknames, you could fill 13 minutes without taking a single break to breathe. There are so many you can't even think of counting them.

You can even make dozens of new nicknames for him on the spot. Kyu could it be?*

*the word for 'who' is 'nugu', and the reporter used 'nugyu' in the original

It's Super Junior's Kyuhyun! It's very easy to make nicknames for him. You just have to put 'Kyu' before or after something, that's it. For example, stuff like 'TotesPreshKyu'**, 'GameKyu', 'KyuMile'***. You can even parody drama titles by saying something like 'Kyutumn In My Heart'**** or 'Kyunter Sonata'*****. How is it? Re~ally easy, right?

**'slang' for 'totally precious' with Kyu tacked on the end and this was the best way I could convey it ugh

***Kyu + smile

****Autumn In My Heart, a popular drama

*****Winter Sonata, another well-known drama

('Kyu' ('Gyu', really) is pretty similar to the parts of the words for 'autumn' and 'winter' as well, so these direct substitutions make sense/are witty in Korean.)

There's a reason Kyuhyun's the idol with the most nicknames. Singing, variety, musicals...he does well in everything he does, that's why. He's also good-looking, sassy, and sincere to boot.

Now, shall we analyze nickname-rich Kyuhyun's charms?

▶ HandsomeKyu

Kyuhyun's first charm is his warm appearance. Kyuhyun is confident in his looks himself. In an interview once he said that Super Junior is loved because of how handsome they are.

Where does Kyuhyun rank in such a good-looking group? Kyuhyun put himself in the top four. First is Siwon, second is Donghae, third is Heechul, he said. Everybody, do you agree with this ranking?

"WavingKyu"

"Bright-as-the-sunKyu"

"BrightKyu"

▶ Kyusical (Kyu + musical)

Kyuhyun combines his singing talent with other activities. He has achieved distinction in musicals on top of Super Junior promotions. He has steadily been challenging musicals since 2010.

He has appeared in musicals such as 'The Three Musketeers', 'Catch Me If You Can', 'The Moon That Embraces The Sun', and 'Singin' In The Rain'. He was also recently cast for 'The Days'. Wherever he goes, he will fit in well.

"KyuEmbracingTheSun"

"KyuInTheRain"

"DancingKyu"

▶ DisguiseKyu

Kyuhyun has a different unexpectedly attractive appeal. Not embarrassed or scared -- rather, he is confident, which makes him more charming. Even made-over in this complete transformation, he keeps his pokerface.

In particular, he devastated fans with his crossdressing performance at the recent SMTown Concert. Fair and beautiful, he frustrated many fans by being prettier than an actual girl...

"PrettyKyu"

"RunningKyu"

"RealManKyu"

"LoKyu"

"HiddleKyu"
*as in Hiddleston; Tom Hiddleston is the actor who plays Loki

"SeriousKyu"

▶ OppositeKyu

Kyuhyun has been succeeding on the MBC program Radio Star. According to Kim Gura, Kim Gookjin, and Yoon Jongshin, his charm comes from his habit of tossing strange/weird comments around.

Kyuhyun has a unique kind of spirit, different from everybody else. Sometimes he catches you off guard with his keen observations. He brings smiles [to our faces] with his odd charm.

"OrdinaryKyu"

"FolderKyu"
*since he's bowing, folding himself in half

"Good-lookingKyu"

"SkatingKyu" #

"Towel-danceKyu"

▶ Kyunus~ (Kyu + bonus)

Now you know nickname-rich Kyuhyun's charms. Would it be too sad to end like this? Get ready for the bonus 'eating broadcast Kyu'* and 'amusing Kyu' photos! They were hoarded~ and put here!

*'eating broadcast' -- a show where the host (often an attractive girl) streams video of themselves eating large meals; they're a decently-popular cultural phenomenon, I think

"LunchboxKyu"

"SeaweedKyu"

"EatingKyu" #

"WatchingKyu" #

"BrushingKyu" #

"Kyuvity-Free"
*cavity-free; reference to the previous photo

"CheeseKyu"

# -- each place marked with the '#' is an instance of the reporter using 'Kyu' ('gyu') instead of 'go' (a bit of grammar) as a bit of wordplay. In Korean, his name is decently easy to switch around, and the commenters do it a lot too.

Comments:

[+6044/-211] what kind of ridiculous stuff is this? it's the first time I've seen such nonsense passed off as an article

[+3681/-157] ㅋㅋㅋ this is an article?

[+2953/-131] being a reporter must be so easy ㅋㅋㅋ

[+2753/-108] what is this, it's strange...

[+2669/-73] ah ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ reporter-nim, are you one of Kyuhyun's noona fans???

[+1181/-66] writing an article about nickname ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ hilarious

[+1101/-45] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I'm speechless but the article's funny

[+824/-41] at first I was like 'what is this?' but it got funnier the more I scrolled down ㅋㅋㅋ

[+721/-11] the reporter's a Kyu fan, right? #

[+634/-23] I was really bored so I decided to give this a look...I could do stuff like this easily, maybe I should try...

[+647/-87] fun ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I clicked for no reason but it was really funny

[+572/-14] you can feel the reporter's bias #

[+488/-21] burst into laughter at BrushingKyu and CheeseKyu at the end #

[+471/-11] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ really, why did this get published? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ so weird ㅋㅋㅋ but I laughed like crazy at 'Kyu-vity free' ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[+436/-17] ㅋㅋㅋ this is reporting? but even so, it kept getting funnier the more I read ㅋㅋㅋ

[+412/-6] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ out of all of these, there must be nicknames you made yourself, right? ㅋㅋㅋ #

[+395/-10] we're making new nicknames even at this minute ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[+362/-8] what is this article... #

[+338/-35] nickname-rich Kyu ~~~ he's handsome ^^

[+81/-1] I'm a fan too but this article ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ really strange

[+78/-1] I like Kyuhyun but this article is fucking ridiculous. I think the reporter's high.

[+81/-7] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Kyuhyun's good-looking and works hard #

[+71/-0] this person is a Kyuhyun fan first ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[+70/-7] Kyuhyun-ah...you're...you're okay, right??? Don't get hurt looking at this, because nobody's cursing at you~ they're all cursing at the article! So keep being the pretty Kyu that you are on shows, I like watching you ~ Always fighting for the charming Kyuhyun!!! ^^

[+63/-3] this is a little embarrassing... #

[+58/-0] I clicked without thinking, but it got funnier as it went on ㅋㅋㅋ I burst out laughing ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[+60/-2] you could make a nickname dictionary out of just Cho Kyuhyun's nicknames...but back in the day any fan would be able to make a nickname for him that would fit from the K to the H ㅋㅋ (t/n: that would fit both syllables) and now you can even just put 'Kyu' before or after something and say it works...

[+60/-2] quick, get rid of this article! it's making people curse our cool Kyuhyunnie! Kyuhyun fighting!!!! I'm watching Radio Star well ♥

[+60/-3] ah so this is an article #

[+55/-0] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ what is this in the main ㅋㅋㅋㅋ reporter, this is only famous with fans

[+56/-1] I haven't seen some of those nicknames in a while ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[+56/-3] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Kyute #

[+56/-4] Cho Kyuhyun ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ nickname-rich fried-hamKyu Hangang-ramenKyu ***
***referring to the stuff Kyuhyun's infamous for. The Hangang ramen is obviously the ramen story he's told multiple times (Hangang = Han River = he used too much water). The other one isn't as well-known, I think, but it's where he tried frying ham once but ended up using sesame oil (apparently used only for seasoning, very strong, not a cooking oil at all) and failed spectacularly.

[+56/-7] why is he so handsome even while brushing his teeth

[+44/-0] no but why did you have to write this about Kyuhyun? it looks like it has good stuff but why did you write this blog-post-like article ㅠ ㅠ could you be a smart anti of him...? and now Kyuhyun's getting cursed at even though he stayed quiet and didn't do anything ㅠ

[+49/-1] Charming Kyu~~~~~

[+51/-3] ah ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ really hilarious ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[+46/-2] Kyuhyun sings well

[+43/-0] did you make these yourself? I cracked up at LunchboxKyu and Kyu-vityFree #

[+43/-0] I thought I'd seen all of this before...

[+44/-2] I hadn't known, he looks more and more lovable~ ^^

[+46/-5] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I like Kyuhyun best

[+43/-3] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I'm an ELF but I'm seriously speechless at this article ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[+40/-0] I knew he had lots of nicknames...but this article is really ridiculous...having articles about Kyuhyunnie is nice but why write such weird ones like this...

[+46/-6] Hot Kyu~~~~ of course, he's the trending trend~~~ I'm ignoring the haters ㅋ trendKyu!!! I don't care, I like you!!!! #

[+44/-4] Lately Kyuhyun looks like he's in his prime, he's so handsome

[+39/-0] I think if Kyuhyun himself saw this article he would cringe

[+39/0] ah...ㅋㅋㅋㅋ it looks like the reporter's a fan of this kid ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[+40/-1] Kyuhyun why don't you have a solo album

[+39/-2] I like Kyuhyun and hate Dispatch

[+41/-5] I like Kyuhyun the best ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

[+36/-1] ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ this is crazyㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ this is additive ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ it's funny ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I heard Kyuhyun was really good at math too, what can't he do? (it's hard #)

[+38/-3] I like Kyuhyun's voice. I still really like 7 Years of Love.

[+39/-4] I really like Kyuhyun's voice. It'd be great if he released a solo album...

[+35/-1] he really could go to the Guinness Book....ㅋㅋㅋ having that many nicknames must he hard ㅋㅋ

[+34/-1] GameKyu ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ even Kyuhyun likes GameKyu

[+35/-2] I'm not a fan, but he honestly works hard

[+34/-1] what is this ridiculous meaningless hilarious article ㅋㅋㅋㅋ it's funny ㅋㅋㅋ #

---

# are the ones who had fun putting 'Kyu' into their sentences like the reporter did earlier

Source: Dispatch via Naver, article/comments translated by OP

No idea why any of it was news-worthy (apparently it was featured on the main page?), but it's a good laugh. Is it a sign?

Comments

[luminousbodies.livejournal.com]

brushingkyu #goodbye

[stoppedclock321.livejournal.com]

mods, would you mind if I edited the post to fix a couple of minor formatting things in the posted comments?

[shanny-w.livejournal.com]

That's no problem. Perhapss next time you make a post it would be best to paste in the text and add different html tags yourself. I feel like the rich text editor always causes problems and is near impossible to correct.

[caramelorchoco.livejournal.com]

lol kyuhyun xD

srsly tho dispatch, slow news day indeed!

[yukahoo.livejournal.com]

It still makes me chuckle. Anyway, I liked that they described him as good-looking, sassy and sincere. Well, the good-looking part is kinda frivolous but sassy and sincere is accurate.

[stoppedclock321.livejournal.com]

There are actually some new comments that I found near the bottom when I went back for vote counts too #__# (including another potential member of our prayer circle). And yes, I like how the reporter talked about him, haha.

[yukahoo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I saw. Fans and randoms alike, everyone's just what the hell is this article :)
And everyone's welcome, we'll need to get some serious kumbaya going if we want his solo to ever see the light of day... (oops I said the s word)

Thanks again for translating this. I'll hopefully get to the other post tonight. Phew, what a week.

[miyoshina.livejournal.com]

Kyu was the first bias I ever had and will always have a special place in my heart. I'm so proud of how far he's come and how he's made a name for himself outside of Suju. Keep slaying bb!

[+40/-1] Kyuhyun why don't you have a solo album

[+39/-4] I really like Kyuhyun's voice. It'd be great if he released a solo album...

SM, listen to these netizens.

[mercury-sound.livejournal.com]

!!!!!!!!!!!!! By now I'd even accept a new KRY album - or since Yesung's still in the military, there's even a possibility for a KyuWook subunit aka the stuff dreams are made of! A Kyu solo album is long overdue though. Maybe in 2015 or 2016, after they've finished the tour and stuff? I'll never give up hope.

[guitarchic11292.livejournal.com]

thisss

[stoppedclock321.livejournal.com]

It's certainly not the first time comments like that have shown up on articles about him either...

[syimato.livejournal.com]

Because his name is the easiest and in-rhythm in terms of making nicknames xD. just add 'KYU' at the back and it sounds ear-worthy

[mercury-sound.livejournal.com]

Tbh, imo the visual ranking is pretty accurate. Maybe put Kangin before Kyu, but otherwise ...

[imienazwisko.livejournal.com]

i want to work at dispatch and get $$ for writing this fluff

[extraenchanted.livejournal.com]

LOL what a flawless post about a flawless man

[tsuyoi-hikari.livejournal.com]

lol a really embarrassing article but I do chuckle at Kyutumn in My Heart and Kyunter Sonata. XD~~

[maghishaw.livejournal.com]

lol, thank you

[fassavoy.livejournal.com]

wtf is this article lmao. The writer must be on crack or just bored out of their mind.

dead @ Kyunus.

[atelierlune.livejournal.com]

This sort of thing is normal for fangirls, but it warranted a "news" article?

Eh, I can enjoy Kyupix and his silly faces like everyone else.