Don't Stare at Strangers in Korea

[goldynchickie.livejournal.com]

Article that talks about how police have been dealing with an increasing number of cases every day where fights have broken out on the streets between random people just because one party 'looked at them' while passing by.

Korean psychologists reasoned, "Koreans normally turn away or avoid the eyes when their gaze meets with someone they don't know for longer than a second. The people who don't turn away end up resorting to violence because they feel an invasion of privacy." They also chalked it up to difference in cultures... in other foreign cultures, meeting someone's gaze is seen as a positive thing while in Korea, it's viewed as negative.


1. [+719, -17] It's really weird... Whenever my gaze meets with foreigners, they smile at me. I don't know how Korea's gotten like this... We need a change in culture.

2. [+594, -34] Koreans seriously are a special country of people ㅋㅋ I remember when a foreign friend visited and he kept staring at people, I had to tell him not to do that because it's basically asking for a fight with Koreans. He totally didn't understand why... Koreans are so good at wasting time and energy with stupid things.

3. [+485, -32] We should run a national campaign promoting smiling at strangers when your gaze meets theirs.

4. [+335, -8] I lived in America for a long time before moving back to Korea so it's become a habit for me to do 'eye greetings' with strangers... I brought that habit over to Korea and Koreans look at me strangely when I do it...

5. [+328, -5] Twisted doesn't even begin to describe Korean society... more like psychos.

6. [+287, -4] Finally a respectable article from a journalist pointing out things that are important and worth discussing

7. [+284, -5] It's because people don't have a sense of self that they feel so defensive with people even just looking at them.

8. [+185, -3] Do Koreans think they're Pokemon trainers or something? Pull out a battle the minute you run into someone...

9. [+162, -7] Foreigners are more independent than Koreans are and yet they still smile to strangers... why is it that Koreans get so nasty about it? Should we all just walk around with our eyes pasted to the floor?

10. [+55, -0] It's because Koreans have a twisted idea of happiness. Koreans are always seeking happiness... which means that nobody is CURRENTLY happy, they're only seeking it. Happiness to Koreans means being at a higher status or position than the person next to them. They need to be able to show something off to someone else in order to call themselves happy. Obviously not everyone reaches that point in their lives so Koreans are forever in a state of distress.

That's why when Koreans see a stranger smiling at them on the streets, they feel like they're being sarcastic, like that person is better and happier than they are, at a higher status and position in their lives... They feel jealous and behind... It's the smile of a winner and they're not that winner. Korean society is all about speed... who can reach this faster, who can achieve that faster.


Source: Naver via Netizenbuzz

I found this to be really interesting, especially, #10's response. Generally, if my gaze comes into contact with a stranger I just give a small smile and then go about my business. What about you guys?

Comments

[hipployta.livejournal.com]

How different...yup I'm American so if I meet someone's eyes it's a smile and maybe a head nod

[45s.livejournal.com]

Man, #10 cuts deep.

[45s.livejournal.com]

Re: staring
I usually get ppl staring at me bc of my hair and birthmark and it's sometimes followed up with a rude comment or someone trying to sell me lightning cream or giving me a card to a battered woman's shelter. Occasionally I'm surprised and it's just a nice person just wanting to be nice but yeah, it depends

[froggster.livejournal.com]

8. [+185, -3] Do Koreans think they're Pokemon trainers or something? Pull out a battle the minute you run into someone...
/dead and gone

As for eye-contact with strangers: I just give a small smile and go on my way. I add a 'good morning/afternoon/evening' for people living in the same building.
Sometimes you get a reaction, sometimes you don't, but hostility? no never wtf

[uledy.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm a stereotypical southerner. I smile at most people, am generally friendly to strangers, and almost always smile and verbally greet my Black elders.

I've definitely had to learn to check this behavior in other parts of the States as well as abroad, cause I understand it's not the norm everywhere- which is sad for me, cause I'm used to living in friendly places.

Regarding the article: Wasn't there an incident last year where some high school kids beat a man to death because he stared at them or something like that?

[goldynchickie.livejournal.com]

Same about the stereotypical southerner though I'm from FL so I tend not to think of myself as a southerner. I smile when our eyes meet, hold the door for everyone and their grandma and generally greet older Black folks.

[rosetta16.livejournal.com]

I make eye contact and smile to like 90% of strangers on the street ........

[mahmoodnooni23.livejournal.com]

same i'm scared because I do it absentmindedly so if i go to korea i'll probably get mean glares 90% of the time.

[lainmyownworld.livejournal.com]

me i do! i honestly hate interaction, though i do greet older people

[yasmine2009.livejournal.com]

I work in a shop and it's my job to great people. It's interesting to see the different reactions I get. Some people are nice and respond back. Others hear me, but just try to run away...

[royu-kiyo.livejournal.com]

Same, it's suppose to be standard procedure at my workplace. Funny how I and another guy plus managers are the only ones who follow that rule and I don't even like to talk.

[iznanassi.livejournal.com]

literally dies laughing at #8

[mahmoodnooni23.livejournal.com]

mte i thought i was the only one xD

[asnindie.livejournal.com]

This isn't just a Korean thing. I once got in a fight on a train because I looked at a guy for longer than a millisecond and he claimed I was giving him the "dirties". Insecure individuals are everywhere.

Though most of the time people will smile.

[sisterjune.livejournal.com]

the dirties omg. why does britain have the funniest/best slang words (of english speaking places i mean). and yeah outside of school people were friendly but when i was in like middle school. if i looked at people (tbh i was an odd kid and had a bad habit of staring since i didnt know better) but they would get SUPER AGGRESSIVE?? and these were girls since i didnt rly care to look at boys lol. so it was a bit of a shock since i'd never experienced such hostility over trifles before. so yeah i've had a complex ever since -_- (it doesnt help that i have an intense gaze so...)

[asnindie.livejournal.com]

"Do Koreans think they're Pokemon trainers or something? Pull out a battle the minute you run into someone..."

This is the best comment ever.

[g-odalisque13.livejournal.com]

Im american and currently living in korea. In america, if i make eye contact with someone, i smile. In korea if you do that, they look at you like you are crazy. Its really hard to get used to since my natural reaction would be to smile. I basically just look away if i make eye contact with someone now which makes me feel really rude but it seems to be the norm here.
The irony is that i get blatantly stared at all the time because im foreign.

[jasmineakaiumi.livejournal.com]

lol at your last statement, I live in Korea and that is the reality 200%

[unicornios.livejournal.com]

8. [+185, -3] Do Koreans think they're Pokemon trainers or something? Pull out a battle the minute you run into someone...

i am fucking crying

over here people are pretty nice so if I my gaze meets a stranger's and they seem nice I definitely smile

[jeit91.livejournal.com]

it gets awkward for me to not naturally let my eyes wander when walking around. if i try to avoid natural eye contact with a person it feels weird to me? idk.

but there's also certain types of people that i definitely avoid eye contact with them to avoid "mean muggin'"

[lightframes.livejournal.com]

Your icon is bringing me alllll the way back.

[e-bone (from livejournal.com)]

1. [+719, -17] It's really weird... Whenever my gaze meets with foreigners, they smile at me. I don't know how Korea's gotten like this... We need a change in culture.

Interesting that something as basic as eye contact would spark this kind of comment. Oh, the complexity of humanity. /sprinkles fairy dust.

I try not to stare at people. I get uncomfortable when people do it to me, so I try not to. I mean I'm kind of a horndog so if I see a good looking person I may take a couple more glances than needed, but it's obvious to me when my attention is unwanted.

I'm also curious if it varies by gender like it does in the US. The issue in some regions comes in the form of street harassment. If you're a woman, make so much as a millisecond of eye contact with a male on the street and he might interpret it as open season on your ass. I once got called out my name by some asshole just cuz I didn't holla back. And god help ya if you happen to "look gay" and make eye contact with another person.

Sorry. This is more complex than I realized lol.

[lightframes.livejournal.com]

Yeah one thing I didn't think was clear in the article was whether we're talking about a "glance" or a "stare." The second one is annoying no matter where you're from, I think.

[atelierlune.livejournal.com]

10 is deep. I want to subscribe to their newsletter.

[violoncelliste.livejournal.com]

same

[lightframes.livejournal.com]

Ugly cackling at the eighth comment.

Although I'm kind of wondering how they meet new people if some people don't like strangers looking at them.

[asnindie.livejournal.com]

This is what I'm thinking. So you can't strike up random conversations with people? I'd die if I couldn't.

[fulushouxi.livejournal.com]

May I ask if you're from a Nordic country?

[in-noctem.livejournal.com]

I just don't think it's an Asian (though not all parts I assume) norm to smile at strangers. I was surprised at how friendly people were when I was in Auatralia (it was the first time I'd been out of Asia) and didn't know how to react because such hospitality isn't commonly seen back home. It's a nice thing to do but I do still feel awkward smiling or greeting a stranger who happens to catch my glance.

[geniebsmart.livejournal.com]

Hmm, personally, I am always looking around just because I am always trying to be aware of my surroundings. If I happen to make eye contact with someone, I will smile. Of course, it depends on what is going on around me at the time too...

For example, I remember the time when I left some clothes in the school locker room after a basketball game I had played in. Right after the girls' game, there was supposed to be a boys' game. The boys from the other school had to use our girls' locker room for their changing/strategizing/whatever. When I went into the locker room (after getting permission from both my coach and the other team's coach), the boys were looking at me like "why is this girl in here?" or "ooooo a girl~~~". I made eye contact with a few of them just to show that I was not trying to be rude, but I saw how a few of them were looking at me, so I skipped on the smiling, got my clothing, and walked out of there as fast as I could! xD The atmosphere was just too weird for me lol!

It was one of those moments where you just had to gauge what is going on around you to know how to act as with most situations.

[imyoona.livejournal.com]

lmao where I live most people aren't very friendly but it isn't like if you meet someone's eyes they get offended but there is just no reaction, both parties just look away lol.

But the hostility for looking happened a lot to me in middle school because I have the habit of just looking at everything and everyone around me. People need to relax.

[feel-my-mind.livejournal.com]

I live in the midwest and if you make eye contact with anyone, its very pretty much second nature to say "hello" and smile even if you don't know them. Granted, not everyone does this (usually teenagers are less likely) and not so much in busy places (ie the mall), but if I'm out biking or walking around my house, I seriously think I say "hi" about 50 times in an hour. In busier places, its more likely just to smile.

[achan123.livejournal.com]

u have strangers living in ur house? O__o

[21banged.livejournal.com]

Do Koreans think they're Pokemon trainers or something? Pull out a battle the minute you run into someone...

This comment slayed me.

It's actually pretty interesting how Koreans see staring as provocation enough to fight, and comment #10 was an intriguing, if not slightly angsty explanation

[sra-interesante.livejournal.com]

it's quite interesting ... the only person I know avoiding eye contact is my friends brother, he has autism

[lysblack.livejournal.com]

i would be beat up to death, i am the type that if i end up locking gaze with someone i smile and give a small greeting.

[steelsigns.livejournal.com]

Omg this reminds me, in my country, someone actually got slashed just coz' he was staring at a person (aka gangster)

[steelsigns.livejournal.com]

Oops wait, I got that wrong. News sources and people who were talking about it are confusing.

I think it turned out to be a gang fight? Idk. But if it was, it's stupid of them to do their face-off in THE Singapore shopping district (ie. crowded and many potential eye-witnesses)